Guess Which Celebrities Aren’t Dating? Hint: One Is Reese Witherspoon.

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Guess Which Celebrities Aren’t Dating? Hint: One is Reese Witherspoon.

According to Us Weekly, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are no longer dating or taking a break or something. What hope does any Hollywood couple have? These two were so great for each other. Was she too old for him? Was he too close with Lance Armstrong? Were the Brokeback jokes too much for everyone? As cool of a dude as JG seems like, maybe having a 'girlf' with kids was a little too much for him. We figured that either these guys or Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams were sure to succeed. Nuts. On the other hand, Catherine Zeta Jones claims that she and Michael Douglas are never getting a divorce. Small victories. Small victories.

Some other celebrities that are not dating: Some tabloids somewhere claimed that Joss Stone and Prince William were cozying up. Joss Stone has quashed those rumors. Bad deal for her, as Wills (like the Brits call him) just turned 25. As a result of joining the quarter century club, the prince inherits his mother’s estate and no longer has to have his grandmother (Queen Elizabeth) approve of whom he marries (legally). And it’s the first day of summer. Oh thank you your highness. Your birth has foretold the coming of summer. May you be forever be blessed for your largesse, your grace.

 

Paul McCartney (Macca to British tabloids) is not dating Sabrina Guinness, heiress to the Guinness beer fortune. Though it would be a good move for the former member of rock band Wing. If he’s going to be comfortable with the safety of his fortune after the Heather Mills fiasco, then he needs to marry rich. Prince Charles used to date Sabrina G, so that joins the first two NOT dating stories.

 

Drake Bell is not dating Britney Spears. Our first question was “who is Drake Bell?” After some research we found that he is a teen pop sensation who had a popular show on Nickelodeon. Our research (OK, Wikipedia) also netted that he was on an episode of Seinfeld. So, congratulations are in order, Drake. We know who you are and you are not dating Britney Spears. Both are probably good things.