We've all been there. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy takes girl to dinner. Boy and girl enjoy a delicious courtship filled with weekend brunches, impressive candle-lit dinners and double spoons for dessert. We love this period don't we? Exploring fancy restaurants and putting on our chef's hat to prepare that impossible dinner that even Ina Garten would applaud.
YTE BODY IMAGE SPOTLIGHT
In life, I have always known my station. I am the funny and "cute" friend who makes people laugh. I'm the comedian, always good for a laugh and an outlandish outburst. But no matter how comfortable I felt with "the comedy bit," I was always left feeling like I didn't measure up. If you had asked me to list the pros and cons of myself, the negatives would always outweigh the positives. It was so much easier for me to go there. But that all changed when I fell in love with myself. First, let's look back.
For many people, there is a direct correlation between negative self image and their libido. It's hard to feel sexy with a slew of negative thoughts swirling around in your head. We asked our Experts to weigh in with simple yet effective ways readers can feel sexier right now. Using the principal of acting "as if" (aka fake it until you make it!), we think this can help even the most stubborn believer to connect with her more sexual self and reap some of the amazing benefits of a healthy sex life.
Very few things are as confusing as the link between what we think is beautiful, our self-image and our sexuality. What each of us perceives as beautiful or sexy is as varied as what you might eat for dinner. The biggest myth about finding love is that there is some perfect set of rules that leads to success. And this is just not true. No one is perfect. Pretty people and plain people alike struggle to find love and no one is immune to fears about ending up alone.
Your relationship with your 'self' is one of the most critical relationships you'll be in over the course of your life. How you feel, and what you believe to be "true"about your self, your body, your mind and your spirit often translates, like a ripple in a pond, into your collective self image often called your self-esteem. Positive, loving beliefs appear to inspire loving actions and a loving relationship with your self. Similarly, negative, mistaken beliefs often inspire an abusive and a mistrusting relationship with your self.
Think back on your inner dialogue today. If you’ve like the average American woman, you have 13 negative thoughts about your body each day. Well, guess what? Your self-esteem has been listening, internalizing every perceived inadequacy. Here’s a question: do your thighs really make you unsexy? or does your negative perception of your thighs make you feel unsexy? It’s time to start treating our bodies with the same kid gloves we use on the ones we love—if not, it’s not just our self-esteem that suffers, it’s our whole sense of well-being, relationship satisfaction included.
Our relationships with our bodies is one of the most sensitive and critical relationships of our lives. The messages of abuse, tenderness, love, hate and everything in between that we send our bodies have a major impact on both body image and functionality. A study published on Glamour.com found that the average woman has 13 negative thoughts about her body each day with several women reporting 35, 50 and even 100 negative thoughts a day.