In 2007 when I heard the words “Fortunately we don’t legally have to offer you maternity leave” I panicked. This was my dream position for the next step in my career. My about to be new employer had just said those words to me after I discovered I was pregnant. I saw a glimpse into my future as a working mom trying to advance her career. My work or my kids. I was afraid of what I saw. I knew with every inch of my being I did not want to feel in that position in my life.
There are lots of things that get me fired up these days: the shrinking middle class; corporate greed; politicians behaving like kindergarteners who haven't had a nap and refuse to play nice — ever. But what's got me fired up lately is Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's mandate that all telecommuting employees must start reporting to work at the company's corporate headquarters in Silicon Valley starting in June.
"The Atlantic" magazine stated Definitively last month that women STILL can't have it all. Well, harrumph. Especially when we all have a different definition of "IT" and we still have 24 hours in a day of which one-third to one-fourth is spent sleeping, pooping and Pinteresting. Nonetheless, what do dads think? Can moms have it all?
Oh yes, I am going to add even more material to the working outside of the home versus the stay at home mothers' debate.. I never intended to add to this already vitriolic debate but a very interesting question was posed to me. And, as always I can't resist an interesting question,so here goes.
With so many people still struggling to find work in this slow moving economy, those with jobs being quite frugal even during the holidays, and many losing much of their retirement funds... are we all going to be working just like today till we're 80? I saw a tv news story of a woman who had always hoped she's retire in her 60s or even 70s, but now realizes she may have to continue working into her 80s. How many people can imagine this?
How does the stress of being a busy mom affect us? We overeat, do not exercise, and of course our sex life goes kaput, as does our intimacy with our partner, our confidence and our self-esteem. More and more, we see mothers suffering from the deadly disease of perfectionism. You assume that to "do it right," you must execute all tasks flawlessly and ignore the need for self-care. In turn, we see higher rates of exhaustion-related illnesses, low self-esteem and partner-related issues, due to mother's burn out. It's time to drop the "supermom" ideal.
Guilt curve: The process by which your feelings of shame and inadequacy about being a working mom grow and then diminish. In my experience, the guilt curve is a bell curve, peaking when your first child reaches kindergarten, with a long tail that lasts until the day of your funeral.
Two new sex surveys revealed their findings this week—giving us a glimpse of what goes on the between the sheets of our fellow Americans.Consumer Reports interviewed 1,000 people between ages 18 and 75 about the frequency of and satisfaction with their sex lives. Working Mother conducted a separate survey of 500 readers—and presumed working moms—about the amount and quality of their time in the sack.
Anyone who's heard the term "mommy wars" knows that being a working mom is a recipe for burnout. When you want to stop juggling a career and motherhood, the best solution might be to do a little bit less. Many employers are now accommodating of a job share. The key to job-sharing is coverage and communication at home and the office. Read more to find out how to find the flexibility you need to have it all and say goodbye to the career vs. family conundrum.
The author's generation fought to have careers as well as families. Now, more and more young mothers are opting to raise their kids full time. But what happens when a husband leaves, gets laid off, or dies? Leslie Bennetts makes the case for keeping the day job. "I spent many years establishing a rewarding professional life before having two children — just as my biological clock was winding down—and ever since then I've felt as though I won the lottery. A great career! A wonderful husband! Two beautiful, healthy children! Lucky me! Imagine my surprise, then, to learn that Having It All—the quintessential goal of recent generations of women—has gone out of fashion. Who knew?"