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Why Normal Could Ruin Your Sex Life
Experts Blog

Why Normal Could Ruin Your Sex Life

There's a new book out about love, sex, and relationships called The Normal Bar. It's likely to be a best seller because most of us tend to be curious about how we are doing in the bedroom. We wonder if we are normal. Do other people feel like they don't have time for sex?  Do other women get easily distracted during sex?  Do other people feel like they have to beg their partner for sex?"

Make More Love vs. Just Having Sex
Community

Make More Love vs. Just Having Sex

If you are just experiencing the physical actions, the bump and grind, the sweating and huffing and puffing, you and your partner are truly depriving yourselves of the amazing gifts that you can share when you make love versus just having sex. Sure, there can be a good release from the pressures of work and life in general if you reach climax, but the benefits of the physical act are brief compared to what can be gained from opening your heart and experiencing your intimate activity with your emotions, too.

4 Things Men Love
Experts Blog

4 Things Men Love

A few months ago, I wrote a column about three things that men hate.  It was meant to illuminate those things that men generally feel negatively toward.  However, it may have erroneously created the impression that guys are discontented with their lives and possess a primarily negative world-view.  And honestly, nothing could be further from the truth.  So, in the interest of fair and even coverage of the mind and motivations of the male of the species, I want to explore the other side of things.  I’m talking about those things that men pretty much universa

Experts Blog

5 Steps To A Happy Valentine's Day For Single Women

Make your Valentine’s Day about love in general instead of just about romantic love. It’s your holiday and it's possible to adjust it so you feel strong instead of weak, happy instead of sad, loved instead of lonely. You have a choice. Option 1: You can choose to whine and cry with negative, bitter single women and justify why you're happy to be single so that you may at some point believe it yourself (I realize there are some of us who really are happy single) or commiserate as to why all men are the s

Solving the Secrets of Your Man
Experts Blog

Solving the Secrets of Your Man

I recently discovered the work on Alison Armstrong – who for 15 years has been honing her message on the important differences in men and women that manifest in the heterosexual marriage in typical and often frustrating ways.  Her wisdom is found in the freedom that comes when we understand each other instead of blame and accuse each other.  Last week I was sharing some of these ideas with a small group of grad therapy students.  One of the men who is newly married, lit up and said, “Oh my gosh, that happene

healthy body image
How can moms help their daughters grow up with a healthy body image?
Love Mom

Can I Stop My Girls From Hating Their Bodies?

As a woman, body image issues have drifted in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. They're that little albatross I can't quite shake: Every time I squeeze into a pair of jeans or put on my swimsuit for my daughters' Saturday morning lessons, every time I turn sideways to see my reflection in a mirror or compare myself to someone beautiful. They're the questions that tumble around in my head: Am I old? Am I fat? Am I pretty? When my daughter started asking the same questions, I knew it was time to break the cycle.

Does Mom Have A Right To Pursue A New Love?
Experts Blog

Does Mom Have A Right To Pursue A New Love?

Question:  My question is a little unique. I am considering remarriage to a wonderful man, however; I have a daughter who is legally blind, and she has a beautiful 3- year-old daughter. If I remarry, I would be moving out of state. My daughter is not anywhere near being self sufficient and I am not going to just abandon her. My fiancé has said that he would wait as long as it takes for me to help my daughter become independent. Neither my fiancé nor I have plans to break up if this process does not move as fast as we had hoped.

Men and Talking Dirty
Experts Blog

Men and Talking Dirty

As I have pointed out many times before, men are visual creatures.  We see something, and if we find it to be at all sexually appealing, we are apt to become aroused.  Consequently I think most would agree that sight is a primary sexual stimulator for the male of the species.  What may surprise many people is that the sense that stands second-in-line for the title of “most likely to create a ruckus in our lower regions” is…sound.  Sure touch is important to us - but that requires active participation

Are You People Pleasing Your Way Out Of An Orgasm?
Experts Blog

Are You People Pleasing Your Way Out Of An Orgasm?

The age old habit of people pleasing is not dead.  Women are still trained to play nice, or run the risk of being rejected, in and out of the bedroom. Is your favorite positon people pleasing style?  If any of these scenarios ring true, you might just need a polite power adjustment. You feel guilty because your orgasm is taking too long. Playing nice rarely has rewards, in real life. If you don’t show you matter, how will your lover respect your needs or get good at making you come?

Go from Having Social Anxiety to a Social Butterfly
Experts Blog

Go from Having Social Anxiety to a Social Butterfly

For some people, the idea of being in a social setting is comparable to a torture treatment. The anxiety and the pressure to talk one on one or to a group leaves a select few in sheer panic. Understandably, this can create more awkardness and ultimately, shyness - the exact opposite of what was intended.  Here's a few tips to help with being comfortable in a social setting.