It's very validating to me when women in my growing community report how more lively their dating lives nowadays are after practicing my tools of treating dating as a "training ground" instead of a "hunting ground." And of being more process-oriented (feminine energy) instead of goal-oriented (masculine energy).
WHY WON'T HE MARRY ME
"Cosmopolitan" magazine loves nothing more than getting your poor, marriage-crazed panties in a wad by saying that things like your boyfriend "guarding his phone" are surefire signs that he's about to propose. Well, sorry, but that's probably not the case.
Five reasons he's not proposing. Nine ways to strengthen your relationship. Why (why NOT?) Don Draper would make a bad boyfriend. Can bad sex be fixed? How do you get rid of his crazy ex-girlfriend? Are you starting fights just for attention? 25 grand first-date ideas. Plus, how to support your parents during their divorce.
I'm a 27-year-old female, and I've been with my 31-year-old boyfriend for over five years now. About a year ago we started talking seriously about getting engaged within the next six months, but by the time fall rolled around, my boyfriend told me that though he loves me and wants nothing more than a future with me, he was just not ready for an engagement yet.
Women can fake orgasms. Men can fake entire relationships. This juicy tidbit marking the romantic distinction between males and females recently made its way onto my Twitter feed. Enjoying a brief chuckle after reading it, I soon realized how closely this alleged truth hits home: my friend Jay is in a fake relationship and I’ve been wondering if I should tell the girl.
For the second time this year, my friend Kim has had to tell a guy who offered to pay her for sex to get lost. Though Kim is no bombshell, she’s certainly real-world hot. Great bod, killer personality, enough sexual dynamism to ignite World War III. Men write poems to her in European cafés, chat her up in bars despite the presence of their wives and girlfriends, and friend her on Facebook to tell her she’s still their “best” even if it’s been decades since their roll in the hay. When Kim was younger, she liked being a sexual supernova. No shame felt she for her wanton ways, her colossal lustiness, her stereotypically manly ability to separate sex from love. She wasn’t a man stealer or desperate fool. Kim was a healthy sexual being, as whip smart as she was sensual, as capable of meaty conversation as she was blowing minds in the sack. Then all in the same week, stuff happened. First, she had to tell
Recently, I met up with a couple old friends, a married woman and a single gal enjoying the fruits of a new romance. I told them about all my turbulent relationships, joking about the slackers and bad boys, the commitment-phobes and jerky alpha-males who’d come into my life since we’d last seen each other. “Oh, I’ve been there loads of times,” my married friend said after I described my most recent run-in with a sexy, relationship-shy stoner. She’d been there loads of times? Shocking. Married women, especially once they’re moms, seem to me so organized and fulfilled, it’s hard to imagine any of these poised individuals knocking around with losers. But once I thought about it, I remembered all the other married women I know who’ve admitted to the same sordid pasts. My friend Sonya’s husband is a successful TV producer with a taste for fine wine, classical music, and most interestingly, fidelity. But
A few years ago, I saw a BBC documentary about phobias in which an adult woman was being treated for her lifelong, incapacitating fear of birds. Now, fear of heights, closed-in spaces, lawn mowers, I understand. But who’s ever ended up in a hospital or morgue after suffering an aerial assault from a band of militant pigeons? In Ohio where I grew up, flocks of geese were shot every spring because they crapped everywhere and ate berries out of old ladies’ gardens. Not because of the frequency with which they were implicated in human maulings.