Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

4 Key Ingredients Of A Relationship LASTS (From A Couple Who Knows!)

Love

Trust them, they've been married a long time.

Finding a love that makes you want to do anything to keep that smile on your partner's face isn't as hard as you may think.

If you want to know what makes a relationship truly great and long-lasting, the answer starts with you. Even though this may sound like a cliché, it's totally true!

Hearing spiritual coaches Cynthia James and Carl Studna talk about the different factors that make up a successful relationship is so relieving. Within their 15 years of marriage, they've gained some essential knowledge on how to conquer challenges.

Four crucial qualities that are important to ensuring that you and your partner are happy with your love life are trust, intimacy, vulnerability, and authentic communication.

Using these to support your relationship will help you overcome any trials and tribulations that come your way

Inspired by Cynthia and Carl's advice in the video, we have crafted four powerful lessons on how to make your marriage last:

1. You need to your own work first.

You have to do your own personal work on yourselves and then work as a couple. 

Come to your marriage prepared to care for yourself, so you can bring your best possible self. Make sure you keep doing this throughout the life of your marriage, too.

2. Make sure you complete yourself — don't expect your partner to complete you.

Your partner can bring you joy, but they cannot make you happy. If you're going to spend a lifetime together, you're going to go through a lot of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and if your only source of feeling "complete" is from your partner, then you will be disappointed.

Nobody can be that person to you over the course of years, decades, and a lifetime.

3. Be able to embrace change in your partner (and yourself). 

Things will always change in a relationship, so you have to support your partner while you change in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

Would you want to be the same person you were ten years ago, today? No! 

Change and growth are beautiful and important. But that means you are going to be different in ten years from exactly who you are today. So is your partner! So be prepared for the changes, and do what you can to change together, or at least walk along life's path together as it changes. 

4. Don't ever take your partner for granted.

At the end of the day, love is all about being open and honest with one another. If you start to feel ignored or invisible, communicate that. 

We all need to be seen, heard, and understood. So make sure you're giving those things to your partner, too.

 

There is so much powerful, beautiful advice in the video above, and Cynthia and Carl show so much love, it's worth the time to watch it, so you can learn from a couple that has enjoyed a beautiful marriage and life together. After all, who could know better than they do what it means to be happy and in love?

 

Author
Expert

Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
Contributor

Explore YourTango