breast implants
Giving a girl a new set of tatas will not prevent her from breaking your heart.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Breast Implants Are Not A Lifetime Contract

A Polish policeman, obsessed with an ex-girlfriend's large bosom, convinced his new girlfriend to have breast enhancement surgery. Unfortunately for the cop, his now top-heavy lover dumped him and he sort of feels put out by the whole thing.

dog judge
This dog is judging you.
Love Buzz

Love Bytes: Even Judges Don't Have Great Judgment About Sex

Even judges sometimes have terrible judgment. A "cool" couple makes a video to explain to their "hip" friends why they broke up. What men really want for Christmas. Another porn mogul goes to the slammer. What sex after 40 is like. Female condoms aren't gross. 7 tips for being a great girlfriend in a rough situation. And more in today's roundup of the best of the web...

pillows over ears
Please make it end. Please. Make. It. End.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Woman Sues Over Her Roommate's Sexcapades

Show of hands for everyone who has had to endure the sound of people copulating nearby. It's enough to drive you to put a pencil through your eardrum. Not to be melodramatic, but it's amongst the worst things ever. Unfortunately, a college student in Massachusetts who feels the same way recently learned that you can't sue over it...well, you sort of can.

mom vacation
Don't expect a postcard from this burnt-out mom.
Love Mom

'Missing' Mom Just Needed To Get Away (From Her Kids)

Parents, in all honesty: Have you ever wanted to just close your eyes and disappear for a while? It's not an uncommon feeling. We all fantasize about doing severely irresponsible things. No judgements on parents who sometimes want to run screaming after a particularly trying day! But acting on those impulses? That's kind of unusual.

woman kissing skull
No, I was just practicing for an all-female version of Hamlet. Duh.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Swedish Woman Discovered "Loving" Skeletons

A woman from Sweden has informed the world at large that she really, really loves history by using human bones as sex toys. The 37-year old woman was charged with "violating the peace of the dead," and prosecutors are baffled by how she got her hand on a nearly complete skeleton. Though the woman denies any wrongdoing, prosecutors allege that computer files detail her fantasies regarding necrophilia.

weird news sex
You can't do that despite what's on television.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Soccer Not Enough Of A Distraction For Outdoor Sex

An Italian couple (he was 60 and she was 40, so it couldn't have been Berlusconi as the woman was far too old) decided to let a soccer match distract the rest of their town from their out-of-doors sexual tryst. Obviously, there was at least one honest/buzzkill cop in their southern Italian town.

It's usually a lot messier than this.
Love Buzz

Are Men Turned Off By Watching Childbirth?

Giving birth: By most accounts, not the most glamorous thing in the world. Sure, you get to bring home an amazing bundle of joy and the whole process is a kind of miracle, but there's also the epidurals, momentary loss of dignity and — I'll say it — placentas. Oh well, at least we know no one's judging us in this vulnerable moment, right?

naked man
This naked man will ruin your wedding too.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Nude Dude Sticks His Nose Into Nuptials

We keep hearing more and more about weddings being interrupted by boozy shenanigans and ending with the wedding party sleeping it off in the jail with aching heads, scraped knuckles and bruised egos. Digital Spy has a different kind of interrupted wedding (with video). Just as things were getting underway, a naked fellow opened a window behind the pastor and jiggled his dingle at the lucky couple and the guests. After a few moments of silliness, the bride had enough and a husky guest marches toward the naked interloper.

This is the height of Japanese fashion.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Japanese Women Are Into Diapers Now

Continent Japanese women have begun wearing diapers as a way to level the playing field with menfolk. The logic goes that men are dirty, awful slobs and have much lower standards when it comes to domestic cleanliness and personal grooming. Therefor women have decided to become gross via leaving dishes in the sink, not removing body hair and PEEING THEIR PANTS.

man kissing money
I love you more than I love my lesbian daughter.
Love Buzz

Weird News: Marry My Lesbian Daughter & I'll Give You $65 Million

Webster's defines "dowry" as the money, goods or estate that a wife brings to her husband at marriage. They define "diarrhea" as, well, you probably know that one, especially if you love coffee and Thai food. But now, a story out of Hong Kong has convinced us to coin the term "dowrrhea."

If only he paid me for this...
Love Buzz

Weird News: Should Housewives Earn A Salary?

It's long been said that hiring a person (or people) to cook, clean, nanny/teach a kid to read, pay household bills, shop and have sex would cost a pretty penny. And seemingly, only super villains and Brangelinas have the kind of foresight and cash to hire those several people. However, dear friends, a house spouse (let us not give husbands who work from the home short thrift) does all of these jobs and is NOT on anyone's payroll.

blue soccer balls
Eventually, there will be blue balls.
Love Buzz

Sex & Football: Should Athletes Abstain Before The Game?

Many professional fighters (and less testosterone-y athletes) lay off sex while training to stay mean, clean and full of protein. And now, per MSN, the Italian soccer squad Napoli has told players to refrain from orgasming (through Onanism or coitus) within two days of the match.