strip club
Tomfoolery

Mobile Strip Club Not Popular With Everyone

The gentleman's club Déjà Vu decided to pump a little public interest their way by engaging in a some Marketing 101. The company has a large vehicle featuring see-through sides, a pole and young ladies clad in only bikinis, presumably gyrating for onlookers.

nurse fantasy
Tomfoolery

Sex Is Not Part Of Dutch HMOs, Evidently

Evidently, many Dutch patients feel that some level of sexual gratification ought to be included in their hospital care, since sexual harassment seems to be gaining popularity with among some invalids. And who's to argue with that logic? Dutch nurses, that's who. The nurse's union, RU91, wants the government and the people of the Netherlands to know that patients should keep their hands and their propositions to themselves with their "I Draw The Line Here" campaign.

Dubai Is Getting Quite Sexually Frustrated
Tomfoolery

Dubai Is Getting Quite Sexually Frustrated

Dubai, the crown jewel of the UAE, has an interesting relationship with the tourists and the ex-pats fueling its economy. When you come for the tax-free living, you still have to pay attention to their social mores. Thing like boozing, sex and even heavy petting in public are likely to get you tossed in the clink. A couple recently found that out the hard way.

man in handcuffs
Tomfoolery

Romantic Gesture Ends In Trip To Jail

A young German tried to get his Rapunzel on and spent the night in the slammer like MC Hammer. He climbed up to his girlfriend's second-story window, but she was so spooked she called the police and they arrested the man. Though the mix-up was explained, the man's outstanding warrant was not so easily assuaged.

couple in movie theater
Tomfoolery

Man Gets Engaged Using Cinematic Ruse

A man from the island of Great Britain decided to improve the film Avatar by adding a little emotion to it. The fellow ducked away from the previews or some such and the screen rolled with a video of him singing a Lou Reed standard. When the song ended, he popped the question and the audience ended up being friends and family, rather than the only 50 English-speaking people who had not seen Avatar.

Busy Wedding Days: A Baby & A Vendetta
Tomfoolery

Busy Wedding Days: A Baby & A Vendetta

Most women have it pretty easy on their wedding day. The months of planning, dieting, haggling, bargaining with God and breath-holding (sorta) move into the rearview mirror if everyone does their damned job and manages to stow their petty bullsh. Occasionally, a woman will pitch an extra level of difficulty into the miasma of wedding day mayhem. One woman starts her honeymoon by having a baby, and another kicks things off from a jailhouse.

Is Matchmaking For Teens A Bad Idea?
Tomfoolery

Is Matchmaking For Teens A Bad Idea?

Dating and romantic relationships are really important, yet most people are only so-so at them. Learning things like etiquette, fork usage and the rules regarding when (and when not) to call shouldn't be things people learn by humiliating trial and error. And let's not even get started on how unreasonable it is to expect most youngsters to simply say "sounds fair" when you tell them that having sex is dangerous and they should avoid it at all costs until marriage. But one thing we can do is avoid exposing kids to the mindfark that is matchmaking too early. Indiana parents agree.

dog kisses woman
Tomfoolery

Would You Pick Your Dog Or Your Dude On V-Day?

According to a survey, 21% of 23,000 people polled would prefer to spend Valentine's Day with a pet rather than a spouse. But while there's something about pets that scream unconditional love, companionship is not romance. You can follow the link back for the gory details, but let's just say it's not a surprise that only a tenth of the French prefer dogs to people on V-Day.

Man Calls Cops When Paid Woman Fails To Perform
Tomfoolery

Man Calls Cops When Paid Woman Fails To Perform

All guys have been there before. You pay for a nice dinner, a trip to the cinema and perhaps a horse-drawn carriage through the park and, at the end of the night, go in for a hug / kiss and possibly something x'tra. And then, all you get is a hug with the same amount of warmth and eroticism as the handshake after a bad job interview. If the guy doesn't really dig the gal, he thinks, at least for one cheap, shameful moment, "Wow, I dropped $150 and I only got an MFing hug. But this is nothing compared to the indignation we feel when we really are paying for sex, and still don't get it.

Hooker Owes $800k In Back-Taxes
Tomfoolery

Hooker Owes $800k In Back-Taxes

A Polish prostitute is being charged over $800,000 in back taxes. The woman, who describes herself as unemployed, made a bunch of dough lying on her back and Uncle Sam-owski wants his cut. Per Reuters, the woman is from the town of Katowice and made at least 13.7 million zlotys during her career and the Polish equivalent of the IRS (there's a joke in there somewhere) believes she should pay them 2.3 million zlotys ($820,000).

cautionary tale
Tomfoolery

Guns + Orgies + Drugs = Bummer

A trio of gentlemen got together in a Maine basement. They then popped, shot, huffed and/or bumped some junk. Then, they got hot and bothered, and busted out the sex toys. Things were going smashingly for some 12 hours when the entire operation took a sharp turn for the weird(er). One of the guys, presumably a fan of The Deer Hunter given his age, decided to introduce a little Russian Roulette role-playing into the action. You know how this ends.

Finally: Affordable Robotic Sex Machines
Tomfoolery

Finally: Affordable Robotic Sex Machines

A machine meant solely for male pleasure is now available and surprisingly affordable. The Roxxy Sex Robot can be had for a mere $7,000 to $9,000. In addition to strongly resembling a buxom, WASP-y character actress in need of comeuppance (whose name escapes me), the Roxxxy Sex Robot also has speech capabilities, allowing for pleasant, post-sex chatting. What else could you want in a companion?

Lovesick Dude Shut Down Newark Airport
Tomfoolery

Lovesick Dude Shut Down Newark Airport

All of us have experienced parting with a loved one. Sometimes you're dragging away a Uhaul for a work re-lo, periodically your girlfriend is taking a semester abroad and you're terrified that some handsome Italian is going to sweep her off her panties and once in a while someone is just going on a long trip and will see you next fall. It's hard, it sucks and it's just something we have to deal with. But there are some who just can't say, "See you in my dreams until I see you with my eyes, beautiful," with dignity.

multi-ethnic
Tomfoolery

Moon's Mass Marriages: An Update

The Unification Church was founded by a Reverend Sun Myung Moon. As the church gained steam, he began matchmaking and setting up mass weddings. The matches found nice spouses for decent people and provided a means to create generations of multi-ethnic offspring. But the Rev. Moon is 90 and some changes are going to have to change. Or the world may end and we're making a big fuss about nothing.