In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: falling for a married man.
The stories always begin the same way: "There's this guy... he's soo great! We connect in every way and he makes my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. I know, I know... he's married. But we've only gone on a couple of innocent dates..." Then, the guy makes his move.
Here are some signs you're about to go from "in a relationship" to "single."
If your relationship is important to you, the thought of changing your status back to "single" is probably sad, stressful and upsetting. You're not so worried about what others would think; you just don't want to lose the one you love.
Is he your Prince Charming or a smooth Casanova in disguise?
You've just met a man that seems to be your dream guy. He's attractive, funny, charming, successful and his smile makes you weak in the knees. So how do you know that he's the real thing and not playing with your heart?
Know when the account is so overdrawn, a deposit is just not worth it.
No, this is not some article giving financially frivolous advice to anyone that puts money above love. The type of bank account I am referring to is your emotional bank account. Now before you close this article, I think you may find interesting what I have to say.
When it comes to relationships, our mind is like a bank. Do a good deed, make a love coin deposit. A kiss - perhaps five love coins. A massage - 20 love coins. Making love - 100 love coins.
Warnings that your relationship is being slowly poisoned
We all know the big relationship red flags: Lying, cheating, abuse. These are the obvious signs that your relationship is in trouble. But, these are not the most common causes of broken marriages and failed relationships. More often than not, relationships are distressed little by little over time until both partners feel a complete disconnection. As a counselor, I meet couples when their relationship has reached that point of disconnection—when communication, conflict resolution and intimacy have collapsed.
There is a reason that people say "love is blind", but you don't have to be unaware of the signals that tell you that it's time to move on.
It's really wonderful to meet a man who is attractive, gracious, and makes you laugh, isn't it? You get that warm feeling when you are with him. Conversation is easy and he's polite and attentive. You think about him when you are apart, waiting to hear from him again.
As you get older, pay less attention to what people say and instead, watch what they do.
As I observe the relationships of those around me, I see a lot of my old self and the stupid choices I've made in partners not so long ago. Not to say that everyone else isn't entitled to make similar mistakes, we all learn at different speeds, it just seems that once we reach a certain time in adulthood we should be wising up and no longer being carelessly ruthless with our hearts.
In the era of internet dating, learn the warning signs that this person is not a good match for you.
People are dating strangers more than ever before. People plan dates with people they have met online. They have no history or friends in common. They did not meet at school, at work, at church, or out in the community. And while you may think you know a little bit about this person from your digital interaction, in reality, you know nothing. People can present themselves any way they want online. In other words, blind dates are truly blind dates. In the old days, there was a natural vetting process—where you had time to get to know someone before going on your first date.
Avoid marital distress by learning to recognize these warning signs!
What if you could identify the biggest indicators of a troubled marriage before it was too late? What if you had the chance to turn it all around? Would you seize the moment, even if it meant taking an unpleasant look at the reality of your relationship and digging in to repair the damage?