Once upon a time, I was a very sheltered girl. Sex was the ultimate taboo—I thought it was dangerous, dirty, and I failed to understand how anyone could derive pleasure from it. In high school, when my friends started engaging in sexy time, their less than positive reviews of their experiences didn't make sex sound any more appealing. It wasn't until I got to college, and started meeting more experienced, sex-positive, empowered ladies that I started to cultivate a more positive view of sexuality. And when I finally started having sex with an incredibly sensitive man, I confirmed that a lot of my fear of sex was based on fallacies and lies.
Love Bytes: 11 must-click love and relationship links. William and Kate's wedding website, men intimidated by female intelligence, and a surprising way to catch a guy's attention with (literally) no effort. The shocking new trend in virginity, women being blamed for being single, and when being friends with an ex will and will not work. These links, along with 10 tips for spicy oral sex.
As a 16-year-old, seduced by checkered Vans and studded belts, I found my match in this scene. Tim was older, 21, and a True Love Waits virgin. True Love Waits is a contract that you have with, like, "God" and the community or something. It is a vow that you will not have sex until you're married. The church-going kids would bring the contracts to school and teachers would pass them out during class, encouraging us to sign. Afterward, the names of kids who signed would run in the town's newspaper. Which also printed the names of everyone who'd been arrested that day and for what.
The best thing I can say is this: those who pressure you for something you clearly don't want to do are not acting out of affection for you. Negative influences like those needed to be confronted and told to chill the f**k out and let them worry about their own sex lives instead of yours.
Why men don't initiate divorces. Put a little wiggle back in your relationship. How to get rid of an emotional vampire. How not to hit on a dude at a bar. When you realize your relationship is just an extended booty call. Eye-contact during sex? Can virgins date non-virgins. Sex And The City ruined everything. Did you know young dudes are more apt to settle down? Engagement ultimatums just don't work. What if your boyfriend still has a dating profile? Ten goofy Valentine's Day promotions. And how to make your V-Day not terrible.
People aren't always the most honest about their dating lives. From virginity status to choice of partners to how much money you make, sometimes we just can't bear to tell the truth. Our favorite 50s hero, Timmy Gordon, may not be 100% forthcoming about his relationships than we would have liked.
How to know if he's a keeper. When the pillow talk starts. Chubby men last longer in bed. Ten kooky sex facts. Ten obscure marriage laws. Most Americans believe in soul mates. How to get over fear of losing a virginity. First date action. What is a boyfriender? The science of getting what you want. And a great ethnicity study from OK Cupid.
Some people feel VERY strongly about virginity. The dating site YouAndMeArePure.com purports to be an alternative to 'all those other dating sites in which the goal is to put you-know-what you-know-where without putting a ring on you-know-what.' It's probably good to have this kind of online dating alternative.
Just a few short years ago, I was your basic art school student, following all the latest trends in indie rock, guzzling PBR, shooting movies, but... not having sex. No, I wasn't a late bloomer and I didn't have trouble relating to women my own age. I was celibate.
As a young girl—ovaries yet to ripen and hymen still in intact—reading Judy Blume books were like porn for me … educational porn. These were the pre-internet days, before I could Google "funny feeling down there" or "penis, hard-on." All I had was my imagination and my canon of Judy Blume books to aid my highly curious pre-teen mind. They were a permanent Sharpie mark on my burgeoning deviant mind.
When a man can't get it up, the experience for him and his partner falls somewhere between awkward and utterly mortifying—I've even heard of men not calling women back because they were so ashamed of their inability to keep it up. So what can a woman say or do when her man can't get an erection? Here are five things you can say to help make the best of the situation. Because men are so sensitive about it, and because it's about as embarrassing a moment as he can experience, it puts the woman in a really tough spot. Of course you just want to say, "Honey, is there something I can do to help?" But in some cases, that's exactly what he doesn't want to hear. He's thinking, "No, I'm just dying from the pressure here, and the last thing I want you to do is even notice, much less try to help!" Even worse is if you say, "Is there something wrong?" or "Are you okay?"—because, yes, there obviously is something wrong (you don't have to remind me!) and, no, I'm clearly not OK, I'm flaccid! So what can a woman say or do when her man can't rev up the engines? Here are a few possibilities, but know that any one of these can backfire too, depending on the circumstances. But, in order of most likely to go over well, here are five ways you can say to help make the best of the situation.
What Tiger can learn from George Clooney. Facebook is your dating enemy. First date conversation no-nos. The Christian Marriage Manual and the clitoris. Kate Hudson's love for bad boys. Office holiday party how-to. Prostitution for virgins. American Pie ruined his sex life. Hotel room sex is overrated. Men cannot shop to save their lives. Winning the upper hand from your college boyfriend. Finding love in 2010.