Sarah Cook Ruggera

Community user

since 2013  1 ARTICLES

About Sarah Cook Ruggera

Everyone has their own concept of what “monogamy” means—and most people assume their partners and spouses are on the same page. Couples may assume that they are monogamous, but never discuss exactly what the monogamy agreement means to them. What happens when this implicit agreement is broken? After infidelity, relationships can become strained as both partners lose trust and faith in each other. The New Monogamy offers a way out of these difficulties for couples struggling to stay together, especially after infidelity. Couples make these implicit assumptions and agreements explicit so that each partner knows exactly what is expected of them in the future and what they can expect from their partner. I help couples regain the trust, romance, and intimacy after infidelity by redefining the monogamy contract. The new monogamy contract is an explicit relationship agreement created after the affair that allows each partner to openly, honestly, and safely share their desires, expectations, and limitations. This agreement by no means creates an open marriage, but rather, an open conversation wherein each partner can have a say in setting the ground rules for their relationship.  I implement tools from the book, “The New Monogamy” by author Tammy Nelson, in that I initially help couples rebuild trust after the affair, then engage in a series of Imago dialogues based on questions about what each partner really wants in their relationship, not what you think you should want or what your partner wants you to want. The New Monogamy includes questionnaires, checklists, and candid questions for partners to ask each other that will help welcome complete honesty and regain the trust back into the relationship.  Afterwhich, I then help make the erotic recovery from infidelity by addressing erotic problems that may surface and offer advice for helping couples return to desiring one another. After an affair, it’s impossible to go back to the way the relationship was before, but I can assist with the chance for a new beginning......your New Monogamy.

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