Are you Honest and Open in Your Relationship?
Question #1 From our Dating Poll, research on Staying Power in your relationship. Our first question on our poll was directed at our couples regarding communication.
Question #1 From our Dating Poll, research on Staying Power in your relationship. Our first question on our poll was directed at our couples regarding communication.
Funny thing trust! You rarely think about it when you fall in love. It’s an unspoken part of the package. The message comes loud and clear…………. you are THE special person, the centre of their world. Your happiness and well being is of primary concern and you can bask safe and secure in that knowledge. Until the unthinkable happens; you find out she’s having an affair with a colleague or he’s gone on yet another binge dropping, as per usual, all the responsibility on you.
How many times have you heard the words, "If you love me you will trust me" or "Why don't you just trust me?" I don't know how those words feel in your gut but they always fill me with even more distrust than I was originally feeling. Of course any admonitions that you "should" feel trust are designed to circumvent your internal warning system. Whether that is accomplished with assurances or threats or attempts to shame you doesn't really matter. The end result is the same.
Chet's "I got this" attitude led him to be dishonest with his spouse about money. It started with small amounts and even good intentions. But, he forgot his companion was riding shotgun, and that dishonesty is a form of "financial infidelity" — the act of lying about, hiding or secretly hoarding money in a relationship.
“He did everything I wanted and I STILL couldn’t be happy.” Jennifer feels trapped and doesn’t know what to do. It’s almost her one year dating anniversary with her boyfriend Sam and Jennifer is miserable. She’s unsure whether to keep trying to make this relationship work or to just end it now.
Question I’m dating a woman who’s really great, except for the fact that she’s constantly questioning me whenever we spend any time apart. To give you an example, when I go out with friends, she has to know where I’m going, when I’m going to be back, and exactly who else will be there.
Has something happened to cause a communication breakdown in your love relationship or marriage?
So how do you know if you have fallen prey to this subtle form of abuse? It is helpful to start paying attention to your feelings and emotions. If you tune into your body, you will gain clues to help you discover if your partner is trustworthy or not. The easiest way to tell is to ask yourself, "Do I feel emotionally safe with my partner?"
When you are wrong in a relationship grow a pair and admit it! At the end of the day it will save your relationship if you want it saved. The worst thing you can do is argue over something you do not want to admit that you did. In the end that person will appreciate you a lot more when you admit it and apologize for it.
People need to learn when you start seeing someone knew to not put that on them, because it wasn't their fault.
This past month, I have been enrolled in a 7 week therapist’s course given by Melissa Orlov on the ADHD effects on marriage. Melissa, who is an expert on this subject, and who has written the book (by the same name) The ADHD Effects on Marriage, offers its’ readers one of the most comprehensive and clearly written books that I have read on this subject.