At what point in the dating process should you start looking into your crush's criminal record, professional history, and offshore investments? Is there any right time? And what will you find out if you choose to start poking around? The New York Times has some answers, and so do we.
A middle of the road lubricant is going Web 2.0, Arnold Schwarzenegger is against Proposition 8, adultery can get you jail in South Korea, men are more suspicious of adultery, new film 'Cliente' is bugging French men, 'Zach and Miri' not welcome in many Utah theaters, 9/9/09 wedding so be fun, Vegas weddings down, Virginia Slims go pink to much disgust, and a little drinking while pregnant can benefit baby boys.
It started with a flirty dance while out with friends. It turned into a torrid year-long affair that her husband never knew about. One writer shares her tale of infidelity and how, against all odds, adultery put her on the path back to her husband. "I heard the warning voice in my head reminding me that this was dangerous territory: however alone I might feel, I was, in fact, married. And then, for the first time in 10 years, I silenced it. As Alex placed his hands on my hips, I knew with absolute clarity that I was about to have an affair. I knew it was a decision that could unravel even the strongest of unions. I never could have guessed that it would save mine."
Why is it that we so often hear about high profile men cheating, but we rarely hear about women doing so? Perhaps it's because societal structure combined with differing motivations for infidelity mean it's simply easier for men to cheat. In an MSN.com/iVillage survey of 70,000 people, taken last year, female respondents were twice as likely to use an affair to get out of a relationship. They also cheated to find a better emotional connection or to be with someone who made them feel sexy and desirable. Men, on the other hand, said they cheat for sex--more sex, better sex, variety of sex. Sex, sex, sex.
Last week, a friend of mine told me her husband left her and their new baby. No warning. No precursor. No raging fights or discussions of working things out. He told her he was “unhappy,” then he left. This news smashed a gaping hole in the picture of marriage I had formed in my head. I know no relationship is perfect, but still—when I meet a married couple that recently had a baby, the furthest thought in my mind is that one day, he or she will up and leave. It’s shocking to know that someone can even do that, can bring themselves to be that irresponsible, that selfish. I thought they were happy and stable. I thought they would live the rest of their lives together with their beautiful child. Obviously my friend did, too.
Never mind those two famous planets—researchers at the California Institute of Technology and Baylor University have found new evidence that male and female earthlings are wired differently. The documentation: Brain scans detailing activity in men and women playing an investment game with an anonymous partner. One subject received 20 monetary units and could keep them or invest any portion with an unknown “trustee” subject in another lab, miles away. The money invested would triple every time, but the trustee could choose how much of the profit to return to the original investor. The invest-and-return cycle ran up to ten times, while a functional magnetic resonance imager, or fMRI, captured pictures of local brain activity, scanning the players’ brains every two seconds.
She just can’t resist going through her boyfriend’s personal belongings, but sometimes snooping leads to more harm than good. By spying through his writing she finds his secrets and an invasion of her privacy. It turns out word, especially the Big Words, really hurt. Victoria Hirschfield finds this out the hard way when what she found was a dagger to her heart.