Earlier this month, YourTango celebrated the very first Break Up With Your Ex Day. In addition to providing readers with tons of tools and and advice on how to delete an ex from one's life, YourTango also teamed up with the folks behind the film Love Stalker in order to provide those in the New York area with a hands-on way to move on from the past and move forward with true love (or... um... unbridled lust).
Go inside the mind of a man & discover how to take your relationship to the next level. In order for a man to feel like he wants to get to know you better and eventually have a committed relationship with you, you need to build something first...
Discover the qualities that make a man see you as the woman he just has to get to know. Are you the kind of woman a great guy is attracted to and wants to have a deep,connected relationship with? Just what is it that makes a man see you as someone he thinks of as relationship material rather than something casual? To share a few tips on how attraction works with men, let me tell you about the “cool girl”.
So often I hear clients say they're sure that they're "defective," which causes them to not be dating material. But one client recently had a revelation, noting, “I realized I'm not 'wrong,' but instead that I’m doing something wrong.” Bingo. The majority of women who come to me for help with dating and relationships lack confidence. Most are sure something is wrong with them. What else would explain why they are still single at this time in their lives?
I'm sure you've been in a relationship with a man who started out doing all kinds of things to surprise you, like coming up with plans and showing you how much he cared...and then he stopped. And I'm also sure that once he no longer did these unexpected things for you, it made you lose "that loving feeling" that used to drive you wild with excitement to see him and be with him. Well, the reality is that men often experience this same kind of thing with women. When a relationship starts to get more comfortable, more predictable, and has more routines in it, the kind of intense passion that a man once felt can sometimes fizzle out. But what fizzles out isn't just about the physical part of the relationship; it has to do with something I call "emotional attraction".
Have you ever gone on a few dates with a guy, thought things were going well, and then things fizzled out without warning? I can't tell you how many women write to me about this. They had a great couple of first dates, the guy kept asking her back out, she got her hopes up, and then the guy stopped initiating anything. If this has happened to you, you know how disappointing it can be. But if you understand a guy's process when it comes to dating, you can save yourself a lot of frustration and instead set yourself up for the kind of lasting love you're looking for with the right guy.
My mother is a consummate story teller. Put a kid in front of her and she transforms into some odd rendition of Dr. Seuss. Put her in a room of adults she only tones it down a little bit. She has a story in her head for every imaginable occasion and to illustrate any given point. Just about every time I call her she will start the conversation by saying, “ I’ve got a story/poem/article I’d like to tell/read you.” Based on this love of stories, my mother is the keeper of the history of our family.
Have you ever pretended that everything was OK, or felt afraid to tell a man how angry you were because you didn’t want to rock the boat? If so, then you probably believe the cliché that men hate talking about feelings. You’ve come to accept that it’s a normal thing for men—they were just born that way.
Did you know that most men decide if a woman is "girlfriend material" within a few seconds of meeting her? That's right - if you don't know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the "just a friend" category FOR GOOD. That's why it's important to understand what causes a man to be attracted to you at a deeper level from the get-go.