Coming face to face with the one that got away put things into perspective.
Our story had all of the makings of a great love story. Once upon a time we met one evening in a dark, crowded party. He told me I was beautiful. I was young enough for him to appear larger than life. We kissed on the sidewalk in the rain. I fell hard for him—hard like scrape-me-off-the-floor-with-a-spatula hard. But we were wrong for each other in every way. We were young, immature, and troubled. It ended tragically—Sebastian stood me up on a cold, snowy New Year's Eve and the two of us never spoke again. I went on with my life.
Dr. Clio Cresswell may have the formula for finding "the one."
An Aussie mathematician named Dr. Clio Cresswell (from the University of Sidney, of course) theorizes the exact number of frogs one must kiss before finding a prince (the one). In her book, Mathematics And Sex, the mathlete claims that you can get to about a 75 percent likelihood of finding something that will last using her quantitative analysis.
Here's one take on what's essential, what can be left out, and what's always nice to have around.
Buzzfeed posted a great list from Tiny Cartridge of "Boyfriend Criteria," including the usual "smart," "cute," "funny," and the more unusual like "did not pick Charmander as first Pokémon." There's also a list of pluses ("glasses," "good shoes," "good tattoo") and minuses ("annoying," "too tight pants," "think you're sooo smart"). Since I'm getting married in three days (!!!), the list got me thinking about my "husband criteria" and how well my fiancé fits my list. After the jump, see how he does.
Searching for the one 'true love' can make it difficult to find love at all.
Beshert is a Yiddish term that expresses how soul mates are "meant to be together." Building on my family's unwavering faith in this beshert thingy—my parents met when they were 17 and my grandparents when they were 16—I assumed that I, too, would be welcomed into the warm, loving arms of this soul mate phenomenon. I vowed to keep my eyes peeled for my one and only perfect, dream lover—the man who would sweep me off my feet and love me as no one else ever had, my soul mate.
If you feel like he is the one, should you wait to live together?
Gollum slithered around the picnic tables in a bald wig and a loincloth. Bilbo Baggins manned the barbecue. An elf with pointy ears asked if we had any veggie burgers.
My boyfriend, David, and I had not come dressed for the "Lord Of The Rings" theme for his family's annual group vacation with their friends. But costumed or not, I knew I'd be under scrutiny: I'm the first woman he'd brought along to introduce to everybody in his 26 years of attending.
As Gollum lumbered by towards the card table full of key lime pies and cookie burgers, I turned to David and grinned. "Real love," I said, "is spending the weekend with your parents and their friends when everyone is dressed like Hobbits." He grinned back and we kissed.
Forty-eight hours later, David and I decided that we would move in together, waking up next to each other every morning and falling asleep together every night.
Archie waffles for 7 decades but finally does the right thing: makes a decision.
Since time immemorial (like the 1940s) guys have argued about the superiority of certain female archetypes; namely: are you a Betty man or a Veronica man. The question goes much deeper than blonde vs. brunette, rich girl vs. girl-next-door or even steadfast vs. capricious. But after seven decades of dithering, old Archie has finally made a decision, which is a step in the right direction.
Relationship manuals to help you meet and marry your soul mate.
There are thousands of love and relationship books on the market, each preaching their own brand of advice on how to meet, catch and keep your match. But with so many contradictory theories—from advocating subtle (and not so subtle) manipulation to encouraging total, unabashed honesty—it's tough to figure out which rule book to play by if you want to win the game of love. Having helped men and women find their soulmates in one of the toughest cities in the world, Elizabeth Webb, New York City's premier Love Coach, knows first-hand what it takes create a successful relationship, from meeting to marriage. Here, she dishes the dirt about the best books on relationships, letting you know which parts of each to take—and toss—when you're preparing to find the love of your life.
Dating weary? Dr. Diana Kirschner offers advice for finding love—and fast.
The 90 Days program is a four-pronged approach. The first thing you do is identify and break your "Deadly Dating" patterns. Then you go on what I call a "Dating Program of Three," where you date three guys—no sex with any of them. Number three—you do the inner work where you work on your self-sabotaging ideas, your beliefs, like "I'm too old," "I'm too fat" or "There are no good men out there." You also cultivate what I call your "Diamond Self," which really helps you bust through shyness. The last thing that you do is you get yourself a "Love Mentor." Now this is somebody who is like a fairy godmother, who gives you the most profound support and really helps you find "the one." And all of these things work together and help you succeed in creating the love you really want.