When I asked an old friend why she hadn't just broken up with her live-in boyfriend instead of beginning a messy affair with a married neighbor, she snapped, "Don't be stupid—nobody leaves a relationship without having another one in place."
Oh, please, I corrected her. Of course they do. People fall out of love or get angry and leave without a safety net all the time. But as I thought back, I realized that for as long as I knew her, she never had. Even when she pretty much hated the one she was with, she stuck it out until she'd lined up his replacement. I could never understand why. My friend is beautiful, successful and very smart; surely being single for a little while wouldn't end her world.
As Kate Gosselin shows, sometimes cheating is just what the wife ordered.
Much has been written in the media this week about men cheating on their wives. We have the tale of two Jo(h)ns: John Edwards, whose scorned wife, Elizabeth Edwards, appeared on Oprah yesterday to promote her new book, Resilence, in which she addresses her husband's much publicized affair, and Jon Gosselin, costar of the hit TLC reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8, whose rumored affair has become tabloid fodder. The former is a tale as old as journalism itself: a man in power cheats on a wife who, from the outside, seemed a supporting and loving spouse undeserving of her husband's unfaithfulness. The latter is another familiar tale: a man under an enormous amount of pressure is regularly and publicly emasculated and treated like dirt by his wife and seemingly seeks solace with another woman. In both cases, the men are vilified—but is it possible that maybe, just maybe, at least one of the women had it coming?
Arguments for both sides feel strongly on whether young marriage works best.
It wasn't so long ago (1980, to be exact) that the average age of American women marrying for the first time was 22. Less than 30 years later, the average age for a first marriage has jumped to 26 for women and 28 for men. In a recent column for the Washington Post, Mark Regnerus argues that this trend is dangerous because women are putting off marriage during their most "marketable" years, before they have to "beg, pray, borrow and pay to reclaim" their fertility. He writes: "Marriages that begin at age 20, 21 or 22 are not nearly so likely to end in divorce as many presume," but he certainly fails to convince me, a 32-year-old woman not quite married for the first time yet.
Love Bytes: three must-click sex, dating, and relationship links.
Do separate beds improve or hurt a relationship? [The Frisky]
Would you ever have a themed wedding? [Shine]
What not to say to very skinny man. [Lemondrop]
So if you're dying to know more about that rail-thin Romeo, steering clear of these lightweight lines will ensure your chances of catching his attention are anything but slim.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…
After blathering on and on about anal sex, herpes sores, and stanky vajayjay’s, I, Dr. V, am going to say something that will really shock you! I have never, ever had sex without a condom. Ever. Not even once.
After a long-term relationship ends, certain dating pitfalls must be avoided.
While some women have trouble with breasts that droop or low-hanging butt cheeks, my heart has always been my least-resilient body part. Like Chet Baker once crooned, I fall in love too easily. And once it ends—especially when it’s not my idea—I tend to have a little trouble getting back up on that passion pony. The worst time was after a six-year relationship went kibosh (translation: he dumped me). I didn’t so much as kiss another man for two years. I know. It still makes me shudder.