For those of us who still use a telephone for talking—as opposed to strictly texting—leaving the perfect voice mail message requires one part tact and two parts tone. A misplaced punctuation mark can mean the difference between desperation, "Call me back!" and a simple direction, "Call me back." Meanwhile, a misplaced pause or overemphasized adjective is voicemail suicide. And since a single voicemail can be saved into eternity, it's recommended that you practice what you're about to preach, maybe even out loud.When it comes to flirting via voicemail, the emphasis is as much on the voice as … Read More

A little quick and dirty one for you: we do not seek to judge here but there’s sentimental and then there’s really sentimental. We’ve heard of keeping t-shirts, photos and other mementos but saving voice mails from former lovers requires some serious dedication. Jennifer Aniston recently admitted in an interview in the March issue of Marie Claire that she keeps old voicemails from former lovers, including former husband Brad Pitt. The star says, "I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband.  It's like saving love … Read More

Do you know his password? Does he know yours? Have you checked his email?

Communication response times have come far from the days of smoke signals. We can send and receive messages in the blink of an eye via text, phone, e-mail, Facebook, MySpace, instant message, the list goes on. This is a good thing. Except when it's not.

For example, on the occasions when you really need to return a bad blind date's or your mother-in-law's phone call. It would be rude not to, but it's late, your throat is bone dry from talking all day and there's a Scrubs rerun on TV. A text might come off as too curt, an … Read More

By now you might've heard what's been called "the douchiest phone message in history" from holytaco.com. But if not, please drag all impressionable youngsters into the room with you and have a listen to learn how never to leave a voicemail for a hot chick who gave you her number at the bar.

Dmitri is calling Olga in a painfully misguided attempt to woo her. Some choice bits:

"I am single, I have no trouble meeting women, women approach me, six, seven times a day...your friends were very jealous and even if they say they weren't, they were … Read More

TV's greatest executive and one-time embarrassing voicemail leaver, Alec Baldwin is coming out with a book about divorce. According to Digital Spy, Baldwin's book, entitled A Promise To Ourselves, will not be an attack on Kim Basinger though it would be great if it provided a clue as to how to pronounce "Basinger." Baldwin's voicemail, in which he referred to his daughter, 11, as "a rude, thoughtless little pig," prompted him to do some ass-covering and talk about his difficult divorce (and life) with Kim Basinger. Maybe he and Eminem can make a show about women they … Read More