"Hello?" I'll ask warily.

I'll hear sniffles, sobs and a lot of blubbering. This is not a good sign. Then, "It's me."

It may not be the same friend calling, but the stories never seem to vary. "We broke up. I don't know how it happened. It was just so fast. Another argument. I don't know."

They always call me, and always with a remarkably similar set of relationship woes. One friend once told me that if all else failed, I should become a relationship counselor. I was an excellent listener, she explained, and I possessed an objectivity which the vast majority of … Read More

The cover story of this week's New York Times Magazine is about female desire—why do women get aroused, the article asks. The answer? No one really knows. 

The piece describes the research of three leading female sexologists whose three different theories are at once at odds and overlapping. To illustrate how confusing female sexual response is the piece describes a study performed by Meredith Chivers, in which she showed various sexual images to men and women and measured their response by recording the blood flow to the penis and vagina, and at the same time asking … Read More

I am a closet exhibitionist. Very few people know this about me because I'm a bookish introvert who has seldom been the life of a phone call, let alone a party. However, the vast majority of my masturbation fantasies involve me having sex with one or several partners, while one or several other people look on. Planes, trains, automobiles, construction sites, fishing boat—any public venue works in my dirty mind's eye.

My partner knows this about me, and while he's squeamish about public sex in the "real world," he did agree to take me to a sex club where we … Read More

The other day, when I told my boyfriend, Sean, that I was going to be doing a little research on aphrodisiacs, he was surprisingly keen to help out. "I'll buy the bacon," he said.

"Bacon is not an aphrodisiac," I said.

"Wanna bet?" he challenged.

Sean loves bacon—and, come to think of it, it did seem to put him in the mood for love. (On reflection, I realized that I had unconsciously begun incorporating it into more and more meals, wrapping thin strips around chunks of cod and adding crispy bits to pasta sauces).

But can food produce sexual desire? … Read More