relationship red flags
There's a difference between dealing with his dirty laundry and digging up real dirt.
As a semi-live-in girlfriend, I encounter all kinds of things in my boyfriend's boudoir that he might have previously attempted to put away or hide to create a more presentable version of himself. Well those days are long gone and I am now subject to every dirty pair of boxers, week old Taco Bell leftover and wet, mildewed towel left on the bed. But these things I'm pretty much immune to. Guys' rooms are almost by definition a hell of a lot dirtier than girls (at least I like to pretend) and all of these little things Read More
More signs that you need to run, not walk, away from a relationship.
One of our all-time most popular articles is "12 Relationship Red Flags" by Michael Shnayerson. He takes readers through character flaws that should set off alarms about any potential mate. Our readers have had some feedback, mostly about ketchup on eggs. And a very imaginative reader (The Purveyor) decided to fill us in on, in his opinion, The Real 12 Red Flags. Enjoy:
Red Flag addendum:
1: Ketchup on eggs is fine. Ketchup on ice cream is an abomination. Run for the hills.
2: Your date’s young boy slamming action figures together with an … Read More
She thought he was "the one." Did relationship red flags indicate otherwise?
JULY 4, 2002 I’m sitting on our deck in the Hamptons an hour after everyone has left, realizing that my marriage needs to end. There have been too many red flags and it’s been too hard for too long. I’m drained. I’m sad. I’m lonely. My husband is just on the other side of the screen door, sleeping on the sofa we bought together at Ikea right after we bought the house. On his chest, our eleven-month-old daughter drools in her half-sleep.
RED FLAG #1, APRIL 1995 One of my girlfriends leaves a message on my machine … Read More
Do you have the bad boy bug? How to know and how to remedy.
Two men walk into a bar. One man swaggers. He has a strong jaw, an unsettling gaze, and an urge to order whiskey straight up. The other man … um, who cares?
Ah, bad boys: the eternal temptation. They've been besting the likes of feisty heroines for centuries: Virgil's Dido, Shakespeare's Helena, Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennett, Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara, Gossip Girl’s Blair Woodward. But do bad boys—in the immortal words of Gloria Estefan—really make us feel so good? Or are we setting ourselves up for failure, overlooking the perfect mate in favor of, well, losers?
Take the quiz:
Like 'em naughty? Answer … Read More
Is he the one? Dating deal breakers you shouldn't ignore.
Not long ago, I met a very attractive single mother of two at a dinner party in Sag Harbor, New York. We were seated next to each other—a "soft" setup—and by dessert, we were punctuating our stories with little touches: her hand on my forearm, mine on hers. Good signs. Read: Blind Dates For Beginners
Then the first of her two children, a boy of about ten, descended from an upstairs TV room. In each hand he clutched an action figure. This in itself was not disconcerting. It was the way he slammed the action figures into each other, … Read More