We know the importance of discussing sex before we hop into bed. But money? Oh, no. talking about money with a potential life partner can feel much more embarrassing—and threatening—than a rundown of our sexual history.
I often get requests for advice from women who tell me how wonderful their man is. Then they go into all the things that make them unhappy. If this sounds like you, I would invited you to do an exercise that can be very revealing. On a piece of paper draw a line down the middle from top to bottom. On the left put the things about him that ARE wonderful and the things he does that make you happy. On the right put the things that are NOT wonderful and make you unhappy.
Women are the leaders in the relationship. Men know it better than women do. A woman can change the tone and energy more easily then they realize… and it’s fun to watch a man respond. The quickest way to shift the energy in the moment–and as the primary way you interact with each other–is to remember that beneath the surface, down in his and your hearts, is a desire to be loved, accepted and appreciated.
We all go through difficulties now and then. The tricky part is not getting stuck thinking it will not improve. Here are some steps you can take to help yourself not only get past the hard times, but actually learn and improve because of them. Get a journal just for this event. Write whenever you have feelings, memories, anxiety, etc. Writing what you’re feeling gets it out of you so the negative stuff doesn’t stay in there to fester. And the good stuff will warm your heart.
I am a huge proponent of feeling all of your emotions, fully and completely. That’s one of the many joys of being human and female. BUT, there is an overarching emotion that runs your life. Are you positive or negative? Do you notice what’s good in your life, or do you put your emphasis on what’s not working?
Uh oh, Alice is NOT pleased when she seen the late-night mayhem that Timmy has wreaked on Facebook, the Electric Friendship Generator. In fact, she thinks jejune Timmy may have done some work outside of their relationship (yep, suspected infidelity). Not sure what to do, she goes to Twitter to ask for some advice. Is crowd-sourcing relationship advice smart?
How attractive you are on the outside is what gets his attention. But how attractive you are on the inside is what keeps him coming back for more. When you’re positive, kind, appreciative and gracious, your energy glows and that’s what he will begin to crave. At the core of the energy you radiate is your Essence. Your Essence is your true, beautiful, glorious, magnificent self. It is what is most attractive to men. When you shine, men notice. You have the ability to make your Essence shine more brightly. That, more than anything will effect your energy.
Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the 40-day period of Lent. Even if you're not a Christian, the idea behind the season is interesting. It's a time of giving up vice and substituting more positive behavior in its place. Where better to try this out than in our relationships? Every couple has their own unique blend of struggles, but here are some tips for curbing bad habits—in action and communication—and taking a better, more positive approach. This trial only lasts 40 days, but who knows? You might want to keep practicing permanently.
I was just watching an older woman (at least 75) and her husband. She was enthusiastically pointing at something, wanting to share with her husband. When he ignored her, she turned to follow him, her head down, obviously feeling bad for not being acknowledged. Watching her brought tears to my eyes.
When you've been having marriage problems, you need Expert help. Julia and her husband, Rich, have been going through a rocky and, unfortunately, Julia goes to her self-absorbed friend for relationship advice. When you really need help, you should get it from an expert... a YourTango Expert.
A woman wrote recently to ask my advice about what to say to her guy about his not telling her what he was going to be doing. Her concern was not wanting to wait for him. I’m afraid I gave her more than she bargained for. My advice: If you don’t have a date set, with a time, say nothing. He is a free individual and can do anything he wants. He shouldn’t have to tell you where he is and what he’s doing. You either trust him or you don’t.
