RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Want advice on sex, love, dating and relationships? Ask an expert with personal experience, or in this case, two experts. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They have been married for 15 years. Together they provide a his and hers take on your questions. This round: dealing with baldness and the aging process.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years, but he's still hoping we'll end up together. Neither of us is dating anyone new, so we still have "ex-sex" occasionally. He insists he can handle it emotionally, but is it wrong to continue when I have no intention of getting back together with him?

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: intelligence inequality.  Question: I'm in a terrible quandary. I'm 32 and ready to settle down, and I've been dating my boyfriend for three years. The good news is the sex is great, he treats me like gold—and we went ring shopping a few weeks ago. But the bad news is that I fear we're not compatible intellectually. We don't read the same books, and don't share any of the same cultural reference points. Everyone keeps telling me that it's OK—even preferable—to have different interests from your spouse. But what if we end up with nothing to say to each other in five years? I don't want to marry the wrong man just to get married. –Gold Medalist

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: staying close to an ex's family. Question: I'm in the midst of breaking up with my longtime boyfriend, and I'm extremely close to his mother. Realistically, I know that she and I probably can't be in each other's lives anymore, but that breaks my heart. What's my obligation to her as I end this relationship with her son? What can I expect from her going forward, if anything?–L.C., San Francisco, Calif.

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: when's the best time to break up?Question: My girlfriend of two years and I are traveling to South America this fall to attend her best childhood friend's wedding. We've been planning this trip for almost a year, including two extra weeks of trekking in the Andes with some friends afterwards. Here's the problem: Without going looking for anything, I met someone else, and I want (and need) to end my current relationship, even though it kills me to think of hurting my girlfriend. If it weren't for this upcoming trip, I would have already done it. Should I tell her what's going on before we go or after we get back? —R.S., Boston, Mass.

Ever notice how when you're feeling down so is your body? Emotional hangovers from stressful episodes; such as spats with our bosses, friends, family or lovers, can bring heartache to the extent of heartburn, palpitations or chest pressure. The key to maintaining your physical health in such times is to recognize that you're emotions affect your biochemistry and taking steps to counteract it. There are a few simple remedies to keep yourself emotionally healthy.

Sherry Amatenstein, author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups appeared on TV as a "relationship expert." Magazines, websites and newspapers asked for her wisdom, only Amatenstein herself realized how little she trusted the advice.

Rate your infidelity IQ with Dr. Pat Love’s 20-question quiz. Find out the guidelines of marital etiquette and learn to stay out of the infidelity danger zone.

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: fatherhood responsibilities. Question: As I lie here at 3:42 a.m. thinking about my breastfeeding wife down the hall losing sleep, I wonder: Do I have any real responsibility to help my crying baby at night when human physiology has not yet provided me with the ability to breastfeed? – R.M., Reno, Nev.

For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: pregnancy and dating. Question: Entering my forties as an unattached woman, I decided to try to have a baby on my own. Weeks after starting an artificial insemination program, I've met a really great guy. When do I tell him about the A.I.? Odds aren't great that I'll actually get pregnant, and it could end up freaking him out for no reason. —O.S., San Francisco, Calif.