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Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames
Experts Blog

Diffusing Anger or Feeding the Flames

Have you ever had an argument with someone - a partner, spouse, close friend, child, parent or other relative, or a business associate - that started small and spiraled into an intense conflict? Have you ever scratched your head, wondering how it got so out of control? Let's take a look at what feeds the flames of anger and what diffuses it. Feeding the Flames of Anger

couple on a run
Video

How Do You Keep A Marriage Going?

Marriage can be like riding a jeep on an off-road adventure: bumpy and sometimes long winded. But if you're looking to keep your relationship strong and fresh for a lifetime, the key to enjoying the ride has finally arrived. In this video, YourTango expert and marriage counselor, Sherry Amatenstein, reveals the secret to having a successful marriage and starts by banning the "D" word in every marriage (that's divorce, not dating).

umbrella couple
Experts Blog

Don't Let Depression Rain On Your Relationship

Depression sucks. Sorry to be so honest, but I'm a therapist and that's my job. When you're depressed, nothing sounds good, your body aches like you have the flu, you feel like the most worthless human being on the planet, and you just can't stop crying. If you are depressed, you might be suffering from some or all of the following symptoms: loneliness, paralyzing fear, racing heart and thoughts, achy body, headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, sleeping all day, annoying your friends and family with your negative view of the world, or being consistently angry with yourself for feeling stuck in a dark hole. Oh, and also being a lousy partner in a relationship.

finger shh
Experts Blog

The Silent Treatment: A Harmful Way To Get What You Want

You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your "love" taken away.

Keeping Love Alive
Experts Blog

Keeping Love Alive

When I was 24 years old I fell madly in love. I was madly in love for three weeks, and then spent the next 30 years struggling to regain and maintain that wonderful feeling. In the course of my long marriage and in the many years I've been counseling individuals and couples, I've learned what it takes to keep love alive, and what diminishes the feelings and experience of love.

Difficult Conversations During Dating
Experts Blog

Difficult Conversations During Dating

Dear Dr. Doris, I’m in an uncomfortable situation. I hope there is another way to handle the problem other than personally confronting my date. I met this woman a couple of weeks ago at a party. Things were great until I asked her out to dinner. That’s when I experienced the shock of my life. She has absolutely terrible table manners. She talks with food in her mouth and she’s so animated with her fork and knife that I had visions of having a meal with Edward Scissorhands.

Love? . . . or Money?
Experts Blog

Love? . . . or Money?

Dear Dr. Doris, I need your advice. I am in a relationship, almost a year now. The good news? I don't think I've ever felt more loved, adored and appreciated by anyone. The bad news? My boyfriend has no steady income. I'm in my early 50s, divorced and I'm not making much money.

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them
Experts Blog

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the many years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers: Controlling Behavior Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories – overt control and covert control.

When a Man Needs Space
Experts Blog

When a Man Needs Space

What is a woman supposed to think when a man says he needs space? Men are pretty straight-forward. It probably means he needs to retreat and regroup himself, which is another way of saying he needs to get by himself and think. Beyond, that stop torturing yourself wondering what’s going on. He’ll let you know in due time. Your job is to learn to focus on your own life, learn to take things in stride, and learn to take responsibility to your reaction to what happens in your life, so you can choose to be happy more of the time.

thumbs up
Experts Blog

How To Get Him To Compliment You

If you find you regularly need compliments from your partner and complain when you don't get them, I invite you to search your inner self to discover why you need these affirmations. When you understand this hidden truth, you can be more clear about what you want.

girl kissing frog
Experts Blog

Secrets Of A Spiritual Relationship: 3 Real Truths About Love

Many of us have been raised to think that we will find love when prince charming comes to rescue us on his big white horse. Obviously, we're too old to believe in fairy tales now, but subconsciously, our expectations are still the same. We believe that until we have the right partner, love will remain a distant dream, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. By accepting the following three fundamental truths about love, you will be on your way to developing new patterns and finding the love you want.

Men, Women and Sex
Experts Blog

Men, Women and Sex

During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy. There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints - men and women are very different when it comes to sex!