This is the story of Mike, the fire fighter. And me. And our relationship. Now we all know there’s just something about a firefighter, right? The big strong hero, who lives to save people, and is coming to save us too. They’re special. And if they like us, then we’re really special. We’ve really been chosen. Or so we think. Or so I thought. After all, it was the beach. Where better for fate to bring him and me together. Sand, surf, sun and all of the endless romantic possibilities they represent.
by Mike Tinder for 21st Century Man http://www.facebook.com/pages/21st-Century-Man/123049324441970 We are approaching the end of 2011 and the beginning of a new year. Like many, the New Year’s resolution of “getting in shape” has likely crossed your mind. The resolution is always driven by the sales drive by those gyms and you see the ads for perfect bodies in the magazines.
There are so many rules regarding bringing your feminine energy to the dating world. They float through the Internet, radio, and television and make it increasingly difficult to know exactly what the world expects. What’s more, so many women simply reject the whole concept of “feminine energy” out of hand, saying, “I am not going change who I am just to land a man. If he can’t deal with my energy, then tough. His loss.”
Do you feel more down in the fall and does it seem to be affecting your relationships? Is your partner more moody, or do you seem to fight a lot more?
One of my good girlfriends suggest that I write down my feelings as I try to examine my relationship with a new man. So goes nothing! I've always wanted to be the cool girl. The girl that's never needed, zero drama, and has an amazing man to call her own. Instead, I find myself only able to put on a front and as a result I suffer alone with the consequences. It doesn't help that I think to much for my own good. So here's the latest brainbuster that plagues my mind whenever I find myself alone.
Why we do some things, no one knows. But if we think it’s love, we’ll do it. Like telling someone we ski when we don’t. Because they’re into skiing and we want to do things with them and we just know it’ll be easy to pick it up. No, no, no. Do not do this. I learned this one the hard way. And ended up on the roof. Of a shed. On the slopes.
Communication between partners often gets confusing, and there is a very good reason for this. Most of the time, the words we use have far less impact than the energy behind the words. Therefore, what you say is often not what the other person hears. The energy behind a communication is determined by our INTENTION.
Julie is sure that her boyfriend is mad at her. Or that he doesn't think she's as hot as he did when they started dating. Or that he is more attracted to other (thinner) women. Or that he is going to break up with her because he's so angry about something she said or did or possibly because of that other thinner, sexier woman in his life.
Have you ever looked back over your past relationships and said to yourself "What the hell was I thinking?" As you honestly reflect on your past, you will see that the red flags were waving all around you. There was a chance you may not have picked up on them because you were blinded by what you thought was love. But if you get real with yourself, you will see that the red flags were there, waving right in front of your eyes, almost from the very beginning. But you chose to ignore them.
I see many couples who are struggling with their marriage. When I ask them how long the struggle has been going on the answer is usually several years. When I continue and ask them how they have tried to fix it on their own, 80 percent of the time having a baby, building or buying a new house, and/or having plastic surgery are typical answers. Just looking at these possible fixes they have used makes me stressed out.
Marilee, a client of mine, was commitment phobic. "I'd love to be in a loving relationship," she told me in one of our counseling sessions, "but I'm not willing to give up my freedom. I have a great life. I love my work and my friends. I love to travel and take workshops and classes. I don't want anyone telling me what I can or can't do. I don't want to deal with someone feeling hurt because I want to work rather than be with him. It's just not worth all the hassle."
How To Get the man of your dreams.com has decided to tackle one of the toughest and most controversial subjects of our century, with a solution and explanation through mathematical and economic deductive reasoning. It is purely a mathematical equation. If you talk to 100 black women and get one decent one, and you talk with 100 white women and get twenty decent women, it just makes mathematical and economic sense to date the women with whom you would have spent the most amount of time and had the least financial burden.
In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, "Conjoint Family Therapy." In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called "Parent Effectiveness Training." In the book he taught parents to "active listen," which means to reflect back to the speaker the feelings and information they are trying to convey.
We all make mistakes in our relationship from time to time. They can range in severity from forgetting to take out the trash to lying about using the nearly maxed out credit card or from spacing out your anniversary to having an online affair. When you're in a love relationship or marriage, both of you will periodically say or do the “wrong” thing.
Jealousy can sneak up, catch you unaware and leave you feeling confused and beaten up. Jealousy can also end up destroying your relationship and compromising your health and well-being. This is why jealousy is sometimes referred to as the "green-eyed monster."