There's nothing more beautiful to me than a little boy's exuberance. But as the mother of two now grown sons I still get the chills thinking about living with and attempting to keep both of them alive and on track from age 14 to (if I'm honest) 21. One question that bedevils parents dealing with a child or teenager's chronically bad and/or alienated, depressed behavior is how to know whether he'll simply "grow out of it." The answer is probably yes, most do.
It took a little more than 17 years, but I finally figured out what is required of me as a parent. A box of pencils.
Apart from parents who have taken extraordinary measures to isolate themselves from the world, there probably isn't a child alive who hasn't heard about the death of Osama bin Laden. Most of our kids know that killing is "bad"; the very fabric of our society is built upon the notion that it is wrong to kill another human being. So the celebration of this man's death certainly has the potential to generate confusion in our children. Here are some thoughts about how to handle the inevitable questions from curious kids about bin Laden's death.
If you’re a Mom with children still at home, I’m sure you have concerns about how your dating might affect your kids’ lives. Issues such as jealousy and challenges with time-sharing are real. But I’d like you to consider the positives. Yes, it’s true that “a happy Mother is a good Mother.” But I also believe that Moms who date have a great opportunity to teach their kids – especially their daughters – essential lessons about taking care of themselves and interacting with boys. ————
Our little girl isn't looking for advice; she's looking to connect. And she does that through what she shares, expecting reciprocation. So in two-and-a-half years, she's managed to teach my husband more about communicating with women than I have.
True or false: A person can never be truly satisfied in life without experiencing the joys of parenthood? If you thought “true,” you might not want to read a recent study by researchers Richard P. Eibach and Steven E. Mock. In a paper published in Psychological Science, Eibach and Mock review evidence to suggest that the often touted emotional rewards of parenting are a myth.
The world outside shifts quickly when you're at home. It starts to feel too big; there's too much you need to protect your children from in it. But the truth is that the world outside isn't too big; it’s that when you let a part of yourself go—like your career—your world becomes smaller. And without balance, you lose perspective, a sense of proportion.
Economist Bryan Caplan, author of Selfish Reasons to Have Kids, offers a suggestion for parents that sounds at once obvious and dangerous in today's hyper-parented society: want to be a happier parent? Back off from parenting. Helicopter parenting, that is. Rather than feeling as if you need to hover about your child at all waking moments, if you feel your own sanity starting to slip: put on a DVD, call the babysitter, and spend some time on your personal needs
A little known fact: babies begin masturbating to the point of orgasm while they are in utero - still in the womb! Our cultural insistence to see children as asexual is a form of denial which creates a lot of damage. As an incest survivor, I am well acquainted with how debilitating adult/child sexual interaction is. I am adamantly opposed to anything which removes the incest taboo for a variety of reasons and I understand how fearful we as a society have become about child molestation.
I'm lucky. I'll say that right off the bat. I have a job that recognizes that I have a life outside of work. That is a rare and magical gift. I don't know what I would do without that. I know a lot of women aren't so lucky. They have to support their families financially, care for them emotionally and protect their physical well-being, all while maintaining jobs that make it hard for them to be the kind of parents they want to be. It makes a tough situation tougher.
Children inevitably go through periods of wanting to be with one parent more than the other. This can be trying for both parents. One feels neglected while the other dreams of peeing in peace. David is jealous that Alex always wants to be with me, while I envy his ability to go places alone. While this is natural, it's difficult for us to navigate the waters of childhood favoritism.
When we're sick, we struggle with how to manage childcare. Debates over who is more sick or who is more in need of rest more rage between us. When you're sick and also have to care for a baby, how do you manage to get well and keep your child safe without ending your marriage?
One morning in November 2009, I woke up after yet another drunken fight and told my husband I wanted to get help. He left anyway. It took me months to get my issues with drinking under control, and a lot of work to reconnect with my husband as "sober me." Though this was the greatest struggle of my life thus far, I’m forever thankful that it all went down exactly when it did.
Do you want to hear something really sad? It took me three weeks to sit down to paint my nails. Not to find time for a mani/pedi at a salon, not to buff and polish and shape at home. Three weeks to slap a coat of pearly-pink paint on 10 fingertips. Seriously. Just paint. Two coats of color, no base, nothing fancy. Don’t even get me started on how long it's been since I've had time to deep condition my hair. For real.
Over time I started to trust my parental instincts in a way I hadn’t before. And as she grew, I marveled at the toddler she turned into: fiery and independent, sure of herself. She knew more of life than her brothers did at that age: she understood she wouldn’t always come first and things weren't always fair and she dealt. I realized my instinctual parenting had unintentionally taught her something: resilience.
Here at LoveMom, we bring you the love. Our weekly Baby Bytes bring you everything else. Here are this week's 7 must-click mom links. Ways to rediscover the joy in your life, how to recover the stolen hour from Daylight Savings Time, and why shutting down your devices for the National Day of Unplugging will restore sanity in your life. Why some women downplay the joys of motherhood, women that leave their children for a career, and why Lent is a redundant occasion for mothers.