As if being a kid isn’t hard enough, one day you wake up and realize that your mood is unpredictable, your voice doesn’t sound like your own, you have a bit of a scent on your body, acne is now a constant friend, and what was cool is no longer. And let’s not forget about parents who are probably more in your space and worried about everything from you ‘not thinking things through,’ being in your room too much, being on the phone or computer too much, you having a new style of clothes, and different grades and friends.
When college talk began a few months ago, the kid who I predicted would want to remain close to home, started researching schools in four different states, because they offer top meteorology programs. This boy, who once wailed when even one speck of a routine was changed, who still otherwise hates unpredictability, is fascinated by changes in the weather. Which only proves one thing: as well as we know them, we can't predict what our children will do, or be interested in, after all.
As a licensed counselor and parent consultant, I work quite a bit with parents who are trying to help their kids be more successful in school. In fact, I have seen so much anxiety from parents about their kids schoolwork that I am writing a book on the subject: Homework - A Parent’s Guide To Helping Out Without Freaking Out! When it comes to homework, one of the problems I hear over and over from parents is that the typical suggestions and advice that they have heard doesn’t work.
I work with many young couples who come into counseling after the birth of children. They complain that their relationship has changed, feel disconnected from each other, and sex is often limited or non-existent. They are anxious to return to the connection and passion of their earlier relationship, but do not know how.
When I had children, there was the fleeting fear that my days of throwing fabulous parties had come to a finale of their own. I ushered this thought out the door – right along with the suggestion of elastic-waisted mom jeans – and reaffirmed my commitment to throwing memory-making soirees. Sure, the parties and my style have had to evolve, but now that the bottles of white I serve are as likely to hold white grape juice as Chardonnay, here’s what I’ve learned about entertaining post-Mommyhood.
I can already hear you saying, "Of course I have to complain, my spouse never listens." If this is the case, you may have been asking to have your needs met in the wrong way. In fact, lots of times people think that they are requesting a change from their partners when they are doing nothing more than complaining. Although complaints result from frustration, it doesn't help us get any closer to our end goal. Instead, it turns people off and build resistances. What we want is to initiate a spirit of cooperation.
As an expat Dad, you find yourself repeatedly thrown into parenting situations you didn’t see coming. This is especially true when you live in Sweden and take a lot of paternity leave, because then you are not at work all day; you are home, the main driver of potty training, and talking about vaginas.
The number of American women without children has risen to an all-time high of 1 in 5, a jump since the 1970s when 1 in 10 women ended their childbearing years without having a baby, according to the Pew Research Center. About 1.9 million women aged 40-44 - or 18 percent - were childless in 2008, an 80 percent increase since 1976, when just 580,000 -- 10 percent of those in that age bracket -- had never given birth, the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey shows.
My husband and I generally agree on things. Whether this is due to similar outlooks or the fact that he does his best not to butt heads with me I’m not sure, but whatever the reason, the result is a home and family that’s overall pretty harmonious. In fact, until recently, pretty much the only thing we regularly disagreed about was whether pizza should actually qualify as a food group. (It shouldn’t.) I was surprised to find out this past June that I was pregnant a third time and our headcount would be increasing again. I was even more surprised to learn a couple of months later that we were having a girl. I had the perfect name. So did my husband. They were not the same name. And neither of us is budging.
Are kids really less creative than we were? I don't think so!
Each week, Traditional Love rounds up the very best (or at least marginally interesting) news on love and marriage from around the web. This week we're talking about, sticking together, STD's, patriotic puckers and the infidelity rate of careers. One of the more interesting articles comes from The Seattle Times, where they ask if an STD should ruin a marriage? What would you do if you your spouse told you s/he had an STD?