moving out
Knowing that you deserve better can help you get over a bad breakup.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how I wasn't sure if I was really ready to be dating again, that I was still dealing with the lingering effects of my last relationship in which my fiance ended things suddenly.
"...I desperately fear, in all sincerity, that I will never again find someone who loved me like my ex-fiance did. And that even if I do, they will likely leave me the way he did. Isn’t that pathetic?"
A friend of mine emailed me, specifically about that line, saying it wasn't what she expected to hear me say.
She wrote:
"I stumbled … Read More
Does getting your own place guarantee happiness? One woman finds out.
"It's a little strange here," I wrote in my journal on the first night alone in my new apartment. It was a small concession, wedged between a list of to-do's ("paint my walls," "need lamps…better linen…a new comforter") and things done ("unpacked," "straightened up my files"). The overall sentiment about my new world order? "It is a fairly good feeling."
After the past six months, you'd think my newly acquired independence would kick open a door that led toward more triumphant living. Living with my ex-boyfriend during that time, I yearned for my own space. I would meditate … Read More
Time to talk divorce? Make the conversation as painless as possible.
Telling your spouse you want a divorce is a difficult and emotional conversation for both of you. Dr. Gail Saltz recommends a few tactics for making this conversation as painless as possible.
I suggest you acknowledge your role in the marriage's failure. Don't accuse your spouse of doing this and doing that.
Sometimes the news that you want a divorce comes as a surprise, and sometimes not. People are often so scared and inhibited about their unhappiness in their marriage that they have not made it clear they are at the end of their rope. On the other hand, you … Read More
Ready to split but cash-strapped, some couples are finding divorce too expensive.
Nine months ago, Rachel Gund (some names have been changed), 44, decided she wanted to divorce her husband of nearly 20 years. But nine months later, she continues living under the same roof with him and their two teenage daughters: Neither partner afford to move out so they live like roommates, sharing the marital home and dividing the expenses.
Sound far-fetched? Not really, say attorneys and therapists who are seeing more couples delaying divorce filings and physical separation due to the economic recession. In many cases, couples can’t sell their homes because of the soft real estate market. In others, … Read More
Gail Sheehy discusses her marriage to Clay Felker, the first editor of "New York" magazine.
Yesterday my husband walked into our day-old home, a condo furnished with hundreds of boxes from our former house, and he didn't smile. Moving isn't easy.
We had pulled up stakes from a place we loved. Our roots were still raw.
Clay Felker and I have been through many moves. Painful as they were, some of them saved our relationship. One may have saved his life. This year we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, a milestone that amazes friends who had to play Rolodex tag with each of us during the 17 years of our turbulent premarital relationship. We … Read More