The 22-year-old boy toy has reportedly moved in with his sugar mamma.
In a story that is sure to confuse Catholics the world over, the Daily Mail reports that Jesus is now living in sin with Madonna. Further complicating the matter for those who know more about the Pope than pop culture is the fact that Jesus made the move to Madonna's pad directly from his mother's home. "Isn't that redundant?" they are no doubt asking. (Indeed, non-Catholics are asking the same thing.) Allow us to clarify.
Exercise obsession, sexless nights and jealousy may be to blame.
Madonna’s abs may be hard as a rock, but her soon-to-be ex-husband Guy Ritchie has reportedly said that she was as cuddly as a piece of gristle. The UK’s Daily Mail cited the material girl’s four-hour daily body-building routine as one reason behind the couple’s divorce. The DM’s source said Madge’s strict regime left little time for lovemaking during an 18-month dry spell. Guess it takes more than bulging biceps to keep a marriage together, since the couple’s divorce settlement is pending. So far, Ritchie is looking at an estimated $60 million worth of cash and real estate, as well as full access to his sons Rocco, 8, and David Banda, 3. The settlement includes a gagging clause that prevents him from speaking about his seven-and-a-half year marriage. The gag-order comes as no surprise. Even the couple’s 2000 wedding was kept under wraps until just last weekend, when never-seen-before photos were leaked and released by the Daily Mail. Talk about sad timing.
Madonna and Guy Ritchie gird up for a fun, fun divorce.
Jeepers. This Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce has escalated quickly. It's like a fight between a bunch local news shows ends with a trident to the chest. So, the gossips say there's no pre-nup, Guy Ritchie wants cash, Guy Ritchie doesn't want anything, Madonna wrote a mean song, A-Rod went to Yom Kippur, and RockNRolla is definitely going to come out in the US at some point. That's it, more or less.
