Lemondrop's Bediquette column today discusses the comfort—and horror—of familiarity. According to a new poll, romance lasts exactly two years, six months and 25 days, after which time couples stop trying and start leaving the toilet seat up, hording the remote and ignoring their wedding anniversary.

Lemondrop writer Lauren Bohn points out that comfort is a type of intimacy; if you're relaxed enough to let your man see your shiny, makeup-free face, you're reached a mature stage in your relationship where you no longer need to continually impress your partner.

A good point, to be sure; there's … Read More

Yesterday's New York Times Modern Love column was by Alix Kates Shulman, author of To Love What Is: A Marriage Transformed. Shulman, an elderly woman, is the primary caretaker of her husband, who lost his short-term memory and his ability to function alone, when he was injured in a fall four years ago. Tango interviewed Shulman a few weeks ago; you can watch the video here and read our Q&A (not the same as the video) here.

In yesterday's Times, Shulman wrote about her husband's belief that he was having an affair with … Read More

It was New Year's eve and John and I were fighting again as we drive back to New York City. But distressing as the situation was, I was already beginning to see the humor: our kids would be dropouts at  age four! John, however, did not. After a half hour of recriminations, we both descended into silence. A great way to begin the new year, I thought bitterly. And, as always happened after these marital tsunamis, I began thinking: What would my life be like if I'd married the other one?

* * * * *

Benjamin was … Read More

When my husband announced he was marrying me, his cousin asked him to see a psychiatrist. His sister put her hand to her head. His four children, two dogs, and one cat turned up their noses at the very sight of us. My friends dispensed equal encouragement. "What's going to happen when he's 75?" asked one of them. "You love to hike and swim. Can he still do stuff like that?" wondered another.

At age 58, Bob Morgenthau was some three decades older than I was, and back in the 1970s, May-December marriages between professionals were about as popular as … Read More

About ten years ago, on Valentine's Day, Louis and I did a talk show. We were one of three long-married showbiz couples, and the host was asking all of us how we made it work—marriage being difficult enough without adding two actors' egos and crazy schedules into the mix. The first couple said, "We take our marriage vows very seriously. We've never considered being unfaithful."

Louis and I looked at each other, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was: "Uh-oh, we're in trouble."

Then it was the second couple's turn.

They said, "We've never spent a … Read More