The holidays are ripe for unearthing family dramas, often featuring a popular story line about competing loyalties. Though there are variations on the plot, the focus here will be on this dynamic as it plays out with men and their mothers.
My mother-in-law is great. Thoughtful, helpful, smart, and not the least bit annoying to hang out with — even over long periods of time. And no, I'm not just saying this because she might stumble upon this article online! When I hear all the horror stories from my friends, I thank my lucky stars that I somehow managed to snag not only the perfect guy — but a great mother-in-law to boot. Sorry to brag, but, trust me, she's worth bragging about! So how did she become so awesome? Well, she gives all the credit to her own mother-in-law — who, she claims, was the best mother-in-law ever. And every day, she says, she tries to live by her example.
The Mother-in-Law (MIL)/Daughter-in-Law (DIL) relationship is often very complex for a variety of reasons. My own experience has been great, though it wasn’t always easy. My Mother-in-Law, Terry, is wonderful! She warmly welcomed me into the family, she has always been supportive, fairly undemanding (I'll have to explain that one to her!), and has worked harder than anyone I have ever seen to develop and maintain relationships with me, her oldest son’s wife, her daughter’s husband and all of her grandchildren. She is truly an inspiration and I have often told her that she should write a “how-to” book for other Mothers-in-Law. (We’re actually considering working on one together!)
Summer 2011 officially comes to a close next Monday, September 5, and we're all looking forward to relaxing during the long weekend. With a multitude of party ideas to choose from, it can be quite overwhelming for couples to decide what to do for Labor Day. So we here at YourTango compiled some of our favorite festivities inspirations, perfect for any couple looking to spend quality time with each other and their family and friends.
Are you having trouble getting on with your in-laws? You are not alone! The trials and tribulations of trying to live in any kind of peace with your partner's family has been a source of woe for hundreds of years. But knowing that loads of other people have trouble with their in-laws is not much help to you in dealing with your in-laws.
Once you're sure you and your boyfriend are on the same page, let your boyfriend give his parents a list of items you've agreed to keep and a list you'd like for his parents to get rid of before you move in. For your part, you can send them a thank you note a month or so before you move in sincerely thanking them for the items you and your boyfriend have decided to keep.
This weekend, Kate Middleton got to know her future royal family a little better at the wedding of a close friend of her fiance, Prince William. People reports that Middleton and Prince William joined Prince Harry, Princess Beatrice and Middleton’s future in-laws at the wedding of Harry Aubrey-Fletcher to the Honorable Sarah Louise Stourton on Saturday. Kate Middleton, who turned 29 on Sunday, will get married to Prince William on April 29 at Westminster Abbey. What are some ways to impress your future family? Cupid’s Advice:
If you want a future with your boyfriend, you need to get over yourself and start being the girlfriend his parents want to see their son with. Start showing them some respect and appreciation. Let your boyfriend know you want his help to facilitate a warm—or at least cordial!—relationship between you and them.
My heart goes out to those who have married into extreme families and their dynamics. During the dating phase you may not have gotten a full picture of this from your fiance, but after marriage or permanent partnering, the dynamics showed up big time. Now you're flying through self-help books and canvassing blogs to find out what to do.
Not everyone has the blessing of good in-laws. Many spouses still may feel like they must compete against their in-laws for the time and attention of their spouse. This is especially true during the first few years of marriage. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with great in-laws. But this didn’t just happen by chance. They had to learn this skill, as did I. Like it or not, the in-laws are part of your life. And the holidays are often one of the most difficult times to navigate the in-law waters
My husband's brothers are fundamentally different from me. They talk guns, hunting, fishing, baseball and the intricacies of making lures. I like to talk about books or tell the story I heard about an old woman hiding her scandalous photos in her safety deposit box (true story). To bridge that communication gap, I make my brother-in-laws pies. An apple pie is the universal language for, "I think fishing lures are boring, but you are awesome."
