Six unattached 20-somethings dish on a time (or times) that they decided to blur the lines of friendship by knocking boots.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
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Question: I am fairly young, 23, and I've been hooking up with this guy for 7 months now. When we started hooking up he stated that he didn’t want a girlfriend, and he still feels the same way. Recently I told him that I was developing feelings for him. To protect me from getting hurt he decided that we should end things, saying that he didn’t want to hurt me in the long run (which he believed was inevitable). Knowing that he said that and that he was capable of doing such a hurtful thing,
The word "paramour" or lover is implicitly French. When I was in London I heard many a French woman say that they would "take a lover" for the spring or summer because their life was too complicated for a relationship. On the surface it sounded like a hybrid between a steady date and friend for fun, but it was much more than that. A lover is not a secret nor is it not emotionally intimate. Rather, it's an extended passion and romance that can be emotionally fulfilling but you are still living single.
Women also get stuck in the friend zone. A Welsh couple got caught getting busy at a bank. Mario Bros have a sex tape. 6 divorce mistakes moms can avoid. Don't quick dating just because it's aggravating. Sex can make you feel pretty good. Amateur porn stars are doing it to save the rainforest.
My Facebook page and private group (a support group for all my clients and book readers) are often stirred with endless debates and controvery surrounding "friends with benefits" arrangement or FWB.
Understandably, sex has always been an emotionally charged subject for women. After all, there are so many religious, cultural, emotional and personal issues attached to it. And, it is often said that women are the gatekeepers to sex, while guys are the gatekeepers to commitment. As a result, many women have a love-hate of relationship with sex.
Through my coaching practice, I have been seeing and helping so many women dealing with what they think as emotional unavailability in a man. In fact I just wrote an ebook dealing with this very pertinent issue: how to date emotionally unavailable guys and come out on top. I have been pleasantly surprised by the response so far. So many women come out of the woodwork and share with me their heartbreaking stories of dealing with guys who can't or won't commit or move the relationship to the next level. Or guys who can't even label the relationship! (And the good news some have already turned it around by practicing my Feminine Magnetism tools and principles).
How do I deal with my fear of commitment? It's not an easy journey; it's not something that changes overnight, but with conscious efforts , we can get closer to letting go, closer to surrender. After all, a fear of commitment is nothing more than a fear of letting oneself go.