A piece of advice that can forever transform a destructive fighting style.
Two boxers circling one another in the ring thirsting for blood, each consumed with finding and attacking what they sense is their opponent’s Achilles' heel. If this resembles you and your partner when you fight minus the ring and boxing gloves, then Houston, we’ve got a problem. An argument between lovers should not be about proving one is right and the other wrong. This is not the fight of the century. You are not (hopefully) looking to deliver the knockout punch.
It can feel impossible to talk to your partner; is it your style thats making it so hard?
When you are frustrated with your partner, communicating your feelings may be a good way to get it out.
But sometimes we are afraid to talk to our partner about our needs.
Discussing an unmet or a problem with your partner could lead to an argument or confrontation. You might end up feeling every time you have a confrontation that your partner just doesn’t get it.
When you feel hurt or angry, it may come out in a counterproductive attitude.
There are some common things that people do to undermine the health of their marriage. One of the big ones is harboring an attitude of contempt toward your partner. This attitude, whether expressed explicitly or not, is one of the things you can indulge in that is most deadly for the longevity and happiness of your marriage.
Is there a right and wrong way to handling conflict in your relationship?
If you're in a relationship, you've most likely had a spat or two. And according to recent research, arguments about small, nagging things may happen as often as 312 times per year.
Some research even shows that how you handle conflict in your romantic life may have less to do with your relationship and more to do with how you were raised. But regardless of all the small arguments, or how your mother messed you up, enduring screaming matches multiple times a day with your spouse, or stonewalling your boyfriend post-argument may mean that your disagreements have gotten the better of your romance. It's helpful to know the hot button issues in relationships, and the red flags indicating that it's gone from lovey-dovey to knock-down, drag out.
Oh, I know it can be hard to admit – that we contributed to that awful fight we had with our man, that is. Especially when it’s OBVIOUS he wasn’t listening to us AT ALL – and to top it all off, he had the audacity to use the words ‘overreacting’ and ‘unreasonable’? !
Do men and women express anger in relationships differently?
Unexpected Facebook message the other night: an old friend from middle school delivered a thumpin' to her husband and was arrested for assault and battery.
I don't know the circumstances at all -- not that that really matters. It's domestic violence and it's wrong and it's not the way for a couple to solve a conflict.
But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I am fascinated.
We made it. It is done. We are moved (note that moved and unpacked are not synonymous), the cats are settled in, life is slowly returning to normal. Between the work gala I had on Tuesday and the move, I’m pretty sure that was the busiest week of my life, and boy am I glad it’s over. Frank and I even borrowed a car and went to Ikea on Saturday to procure the furniture items we required to inhabit our new apartment.
So it’s pretty much cake from here on out. There are some small glitches—no cable or internet yet—but generally it’s all coming together. Which makes it even weirder that Frank and I have been bickering constantly the last couple of days.
You’d think that once the hard part was over, we’d both relax and be nice people to be around, but you would be wrong. We didn’t fight really at all during the weeks between finding out we had to move and the truck pulling up on our doorstep, but the moment things were kind of in the clear, we were at each others’ throats.
