Inside The Mind Of A Stripper: Why I Love My Job
“She’d kill me if she knew I was here.”
“She’d kill me if she knew I was here.”
The first thing you need to know is that Dan asked me to marry him while we were brushing our teeth. We had been together for almost 10 years at that point, living together for five, and we had plenty of people despairing as to whether we would ever get around to tying the knot. We finally settled matters after flossing. Big romantic gestures? Not our thing. We like to lie around eating ice cream straight from the container and watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia reruns. But then we jumped into planning mode for the wedding, a day that's supposed to be nothing but romantic moments and symbolic traditions. And even two cynics like ourselves couldn't help getting caught up in all the excitement. But when it came to walking being a bride and walking down the aisle, did I want my father to give me away?
Pole dancing is a controversial sport.It's hard to do; you have to have excellent core and upper body strength, and you have to be fairly coordinated. But it’s also undeniably erotic. Watching it immediately conjures up sexual thoughts for men, and most likely even for some women. It is inexorably linked to exotic dancing, otherwise known as stripping. Therein lies the feminist dilemma.
Are you a bad feminist if you ask someone—say, someone like me—why she stayed with the guy who beat the crap out of her, nearly murdered her, and raped her on a regular basis?
Sex with A Married Man? Friends With Benefits? Office Affairs? Here, Cosmo queen Helen Gurley Brown personally answers your critical questions about all these things. Plus, why she's already saved you from a dreary life not worth living!
If I read the phrase "You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince" on this site one more motherspelunking time, I'm going to spontaneously barf. You don't really believe this, do you? Dudes don't have an equivalent to this creaky, cliché trope. It's not like you'll ever hear one guy comfort another guy by saying "You’ve got to kiss a lot of whores before you find your Madonna." Or vice versa. Men don't want to date princesses.
My first spanking was at my 16th birthday party. My guy friends tackled me on the kitchen floor and took turns giving me 16 spanks. And maybe one for good luck. I don't remember. Once freed, I was livid. I was mortified. And I was totally turned on.
Paul and Judith have been together for 17 years. They live together, renovated a house together, and share a home workspace. But they are not married. "Neither of us has ever been married, and we don't intend to marry each other. There are no practical reasons to do so—no kids (unless you count our elderly diabetic cat, Julius), no employer-paid health insurance—and several tax-related reasons not to." Nonetheless, they face the same financial strains and decisions that a married couple comes up against. This is the story of how an unconventional couple manages their finances, and why they've chosen this path.
I don't feel a pressing desire to "prove" to myself or anyone else that I won't change, that I won't compromise anything, because at some point I'm sure I will. (Isn't compromise a big part marriage, after all?) But I'm also certain that while bits of my identity are bound to shift, just as I would expect them to with any big life change and new perspective, the core of who I am will remain the same. No new name, white dress, ring on my finger or any other traditional convention is going to change that. For better or worse, I am who I am and I'm pretty solid in my identity. So when I read a column in the Guardian recently by Abigail Gliddon, a woman who claims "when a woman takes her husband's name, she surrenders her former identity and adopts his," I wondered how she came to have such low expectations for other women.
Men fix cars, figure out credit card bills and hook up the TV. Is it sexist to want a guy for that? "When I was in college I bought my first car... Normally this was a task that I would have heaped on my dad’s shoulders; after all, Dads are the people you turn to in times of vehicular crisis. Mine wasn’t there, so I went at alone." Later her boyfriend helps her deal with debt collectors. Does it make you a bad woman or anti-feminist to want a man to do certain things for you?
A "womyn's land" is a lesbian-only commune. These clusters are notoriously small (sometimes with only 2 members), and have sprouted up all over rural parts of America since the 1970s. In some communes, men aren't allowed on the premises at all, but with most they can come and visit. The same rules apply for straight or bisexual women. This brand of old school lesbian has proven to be too rigid for modern day feminists. Younger women don't want to be boxed in and find the man hating hypocritical.