Both men and women like the pleasure that orgasms bring — but only male orgasms are actually "necessary." At least that's what science says — because only male orgasms are needed to make a baby. Ah, science. Science has clearly never had sex.
In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described some basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. The same skills that can get you to one ecstatic peak can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity. To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, you may want to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners.
"The first time it happened to me I was in Sharon Gannon's class at Jivamukti, and I was in forward bend," says Kelly Morris, a yoga instructor with a cult following at the Shala Yoga House in New York City. "I was breathing and concentrating and suddenly, 'Whoa!'"
One could argue that if Maggie Gyllenhaal has to ask, then she must not be doing it right. In a recent episode of the new Discovery show, Curiosity, the movie star posed a series of questions to understand the science of sex—in particular, the female orgasm.
Fueled by pure primal instinct, our sex drive is a compelling physiological desire for copulation. Unlike most female mammals, women can enjoy immense pleasure from sexual activity. Of course a partner is not necessarily needed to achieve sexual satisfaction and orgasm, however it is always more fun to share erotic experiences with someone you care deeply for. Whether you enjoy solo play in stimulating yourself, or you have assistance from an adoring lover, orgasm can be profoundly powerful and extremely gratifying to a woman.
YourTango Expert Dr. John Grohol recently wrote about a study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, which found that women's sex noises are not generally a reflex or consequence of orgasm, but rather an effort to help the man reach the finish line. The researchers found that a woman's "vocalizations" most often occurred around the man's orgasm, just before or simultaneously with ejaculation.
Don’t despair! Orgasm is a learnable skill —and every woman can become proficient at getting there. And if you already have your basic orgasm abilities down pat, you can use the same tools to expand your climax-ability. Although sex is both natural and learned, for women, learning our path to orgasm is not always easy or natural. Just consider these statistics.
This has been a fascinating question that has been open for debate for a long, long time. It's probably only second to the "does size really matter" question. From a biological perspective, it certainly would seem that the more "dominant" males will be better breeding stock and so will be more desirable to females. On the other hand, our more "civilized" society would like us to believe that a more sensitive, caring man would make a better lover.
When it comes to the female orgasm, most guys are confused but, truth be told, so are we. It's not as easy for us to climax during sex, let alone climax more than once, as it is for them. In fact, according to Women's Health, only 25 percent of women always climax during sex in comparison to the 90 percent that men do, leaving us to either fake it or finish after the fact. Lucky for us, science is on our side, and there's a new study that finds the frequency of a female orgasm increases when having sex with a hot man.
It's time to get a little creative when it comes to the least creative sex position in the book: We're looking at you, missionary. Women's Health has come up with six spot-on techniques to make sure you rock this one out. Never have we seen so much detail dedicated to making man-on-top exciting again.
The truth about female orgasm and multiple climaxes - surrender, allow, feel and experience bliss. When it comes to getting ‘turned-on’, men are mostly driven by visual and physical stimulation. For women, sex is much more of a mental and emotional experience. Stress is the most common obstruction in being able to feel optimum sexual pleasure. If your mind is full of distracting thoughts or if you’re upset about something, you may be unable to wholly experience all of the magnificent sensations our bodies our capable of. It’s imperative to decrease stress, tension and disturbance before embarking on a sexual journey with or without a partner.
