There are ways to stop running away from relationships and let yourself love and be loved!
Everyone knows about the commitment-phobic guy, but what's really not talked about is the woman who shies away from a true connection. Not long ago, "Marin" asked me how to handle her avoidance of relationships. Witnessing her parents' divorce and experiencing the resulting trauma in the family, she'd made a conscious decision to make sure she never found herself trapped in a bad relationship. Like so many in her shoes, she was confusing the issues, and making choices based on the wrong criteria.
The Question I promised to focus on this week is:
How can I avoid getting into an unhealthy relationship?
I have to giggle at that one as I am writing today. I don't know about you but in my experience many of us were BORN into unhealthy relationships!
That said I know that for the most part as adults, we get to choose the relationships we want to engage in. When it comes to romantic relationships we have 100% control. It is that type of relationship I am going to address today.
Do you believe that you are responsible for causing others' anger, hurt, sadness or anxiety?
"My wife is so upset that I have to travel more on my new job," Chuck told me in our phone counseling session. "She feels so alone and lost when I'm gone. When I talk with her she is either crying or angry. I feel so badly and guilty but I don't know what to do."
"Do you feel responsibility for her feelings?" I asked him. "Do you feel that you are the cause of her feelings?"
"Yes."
Put yourself in his shoes to figure out why he hasn't popped the question.
Are you in a serious, monogamous relationship with a man and longing to get him to commit to you? Do feel ready to get engaged or married and yet you're still waiting for him to make a move to commit to your future together? If you've been with a man you love in an exclusive relationship for over a year, you're in the perfect position to help him make decision to commit to you. However, many men have conscious and subconscious fears that make them feel ambivalent about committing to any woman.
Crazy things occur when you drown out fear and let in the love.
A miracle is simply a shift in perception from thoughts of fear to thoughts of love. Many of us lose track of this simplicity because we fell for fear instead. When our thoughts are focused on fear, we block miracles. Fear becomes the norm and we deny the potential for peace and love.
Feeling alone, empty, anxious, depressed, hurt, angry, jealous, sad, fearful, guilty or shamed?
The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines “abandon” as: “to leave somebody or something behind for others to look after, especially somebody or something meant to be a personal responsibility.”
As adults, our own wellbeing is our personal responsibility.
Do you abandon yourself, making others responsible for you, and then feel abandoned by others when they leave you or don’t take responsibility for you?
Pay attention to your first feeling of anger and stay clear of rage.
This is the second article in the series of five examining the emotions. In the first article it was discussed when sadness is repressed in turns into chronic depression. Any chronic condition is unnatural. We need to look at our first feelings. The core emotions of grief/sadness, anger, love, envy, and fear are being examined in this series. These are the natural emotions and are uncomplicated in their purity. I am not suggesting they are comfortable, I am suggesting they are uncomplicated in their truths. Anger is, in my opinion, the most misunderstood of all of the five emotions.
Have you ever felt "magic" with a man? That connection and chemistry is almost impossible to describe to someone who doesn't have it, but it's even more impossible to ignore when you've got it. Well, believe it or not, there's other magic waiting for you beyond connections or chemistry when it comes to men, dating and relationships.
Learn how to identify and address a phobia of commitment, including techniques for overcoming it.
Are You Commitment-Phobic?
Many people don’t experience committed, steady relationships, and they often assert this is so not because they are afraid of commitment but rather because they enjoy their freedom and flirtatious nature. And while this may be true for some who embrace their “forever single status,” more often when people say things like “I crave independence and space,” or “Love is for the weak,” what they are really unwittingly communicating is their deep-seated fear of commitment.
It's natural, it's human and a little bit of it can help us stay on top of important details. But most people spend more than just a little time being concerned about the what if's. And just because it's natural doesn't mean it is giving you the best experience of life.
Overcome resistance and fear using the old Nike slogan-- it works!
I’ve been experiencing a lot of resistance lately, and have come up with a couple of solutions with a little help from my guides. One of the things they said was reassuring in a strange sort of way. They explained to one of my clients, and I knew the message was not just for her, that fear and resistance will never fully disappear. They get smaller, less frequent and easier to dispel the more we connect with our true essence, but they are an integral part of the human experience.
