I've been working with heartbroken people for over 25 years as a psychotherapist. I've listened closely as they tell me they've been abandoned again and again, can't seem to find someone, can't get a quality relationship to last. The truth is that they are experiencing invisible barriers that prevent them from finding the right love. The first step to overcoming these barriers is understanding them. Here are some of the common scenerios:

Abandon-holism: You've been hurt so many times, you've come to confuse insecurity with love. When someone comes along who is willing to commit, you don't feel the "right chemistry." … Read More

I've been married all of 11 days now and, as if on cue, the day my husband (still very much getting used to saying that!) and I tied the knot, he stopped putting the toilet seat down. I ignored it at first, but by our first weekend together as a married couple, I couldn't stand it any longer and said something to him about it. I made a jokey comment about his sudden change in behavior—more embarrassed than pissed at being such a cliché so early in our marriage. After over three years together, surely he must realize if … Read More

It's been said that men fear commitment. And that may be drastically understating the case. According to our homies over at Lemondrop, when asked to list things they are afraid of, sharks just edged out proposing marriage in terms of things that men fear. (Word to the wise, the Lemondrop post had a few other interesting tidbits that you should check out.)

Since Velociraptors and Tyrannosaurus Rexes went the way of the dinosaur, the scariest creature on the face of the Earth is the shark (followed closely by the tiger, with the hippopotamus and werewolf tied for a distant … Read More

So you married your soul mate and are about to walk down the aisle towards the start of something special. Don't be alarmed if there's a tugging at your sleeve as you link arms with Mr. Wonderful and head off into the horizon.

That's not an overzealous bridesmaid biting at your heel; it's your husband's mother.

Before becoming your husband, the man of your dreams was the center of someone else's universe, his mother's. Mama's boy or not, your husband's mother had first dibs on your guy even before you were old enough to walk, let alone say "I … Read More

We took an informal poll (by "informal" we mean the guys in the office) to glean what men think of the SATC phenomenon that will sweep the country tonight as the box office opens for Carrie et al. Turns out, more than general apathy about the she-power that is Sex and the City, these men can't run fast or far enough from it.

We played a quick word-association game with the guys. Here are their gut reactions to the pillars of SATC:

Cosmopolitan: A green martini.

Mr. Big: Those Mr. Men books/cartoons. (I have kids, okay?)

Miranda: Nails on a … Read More

We asked Dusty Miller, the author of the new book, Stop Running From Love: Three Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing and Fear, some tough questions. The good news: She didn't up and run. Scroll down to learn if you fit the profile of a classic "distancer."

You've written about addiction and trauma. What made you write a book about love? I was thinking about how even when a lot of therapeutic work has been done and a lot of issues are resolved, people still often face big challenges to having real closeness and intimacy and satisfaction in relationships, and I … Read More