fall in love
Fear of commitment? Follow these tips and get over it.
I've been working with heartbroken people for over 25 years as a psychotherapist. I've listened closely as they tell me they've been abandoned again and again, can't seem to find someone, can't get a quality relationship to last. The truth is that they are experiencing invisible barriers that prevent them from finding the right love. The first step to overcoming these barriers is understanding them. Here are some of the common scenerios:
Abandon-holism: You've been hurt so many times, you've come to confuse insecurity with love. When someone comes along who is willing to commit, you don't feel the "right chemistry." … Read More
Oxytocin, the hormone for bonding, trust, breastfeeding and orgasm also helps us learn to love.
Oxytocin is quite a busy hormone. When released in the brain, it facilitates sex, orgasm, birth and breastfeeding, as well as feelings of bonding, connection and trust.
No wonder, then, that scientists want to recreate the chemical's effects. Drugs that simulate the hormone, like Pitocin, are given to pregnant women to help induce labor. A synthetic oxytocin nasal spray has been produced to help mothers create milk for newborns, and researchers are experimenting with how doses of it might combat memory loss and autism, and improve sexual functioning.
In her forthcoming book The … Read More
Breakup tips to help you get over a split without eating, drinking, shopping or sleeping around.
Ice cream, alcohol, meaningless hookups: the go-to antidotes for a bad breakup are often about distraction rather than relief. What's more, they tend to injure more than assuage, as if the breakup itself didn't cause enough pain.
Here, we've identified 10 healthy ways to deal with getting dumped that don't include booze, food or flings:
1. Buy the Dumped! Fun and Games Activity Book, which offers such whimsical games as "I Cried to Smell Few (I Tried to Tell You)." Help broken-hearted "Sam" decipher what his friends have been telling him about his now … Read More
He thought marrying your college sweetheart was for suckers. But then he did it.
I have certain preconceived notions about people who marry their college sweethearts. It's not fair, I know, but I do.
Such people are conventional, conservative, and timid. They prefer comfort and routine to excitement. In other words, they're nothing like my wife and me.
Emily and I met on the first day of college. In our freshman dorm, full of Long Island sorority girls and future corporate lawyers, we were the only two people wearing dirty overalls and thrift-store flannels.
I had long hair and played guitar (badly), which was all the justification Emily needed for befriending … Read More
Recalling the man she would have married, the author realizes her husband is the one for her.
It was New Year's eve and John and I were fighting again as we drive back to New York City. But distressing as the situation was, I was already beginning to see the humor: our kids would be dropouts at age four! John, however, did not. After a half hour of recriminations, we both descended into silence. A great way to begin the new year, I thought bitterly. And, as always happened after these marital tsunamis, I began thinking: What would my life be like if I'd married the other one?
* * * * *
Benjamin was … Read More
She didn't believe in love at first sight until she met him. Now she asks, "Will we last forever?"
In the summer of 1978, my mother accidentally flooded her boss's apartment, and got sued. It's a long story. The important part is that the young lawyer/aspiring rock star she hired to represent her later became her husband—my father. They settled the case out of court within a week. Afterward, she invited him to dinner, ostensibly as a thank you, but really because she had decided that he was The One the instant she stepped into his cluttered office and saw his wide smile and thick black curls.
According to my father, Read More