Who me? Controlling? Here's how to take control of those buttons once and for all!
When we feel out of control, we feel helpless, powerless or hopeless. When we're sick, worried about finances, feeling a sense of lack or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the need to be in control increases. Subconsciously, we tell ourselves we are a victim, not lovable or not good enough. We get angry at our situation and try to control whatever or whomever else we can. You can be sure that the power struggles aren't far behind as we jockey to be heard, to be right, to tell our partner how to do things. Thinking someone or something has "happened to us", we talk over one another or diverge from the agenda at hand all in the name of eliminating the uncomfortable tension of the situation. It seems like the harder we try to control another person, the more we lose it ourselves. Can you relate?
Study finds new personality differences between men and women.
In the early 1990's, a writer and relationship counselor by the name of John Gray, Ph.D. wrote a little book you may have heard of: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. When the book was published in 1992, it became a pop culture phenomenon that eventually led to more books, seminars, a TV sitcom and even a one-man Broadway show.
Having a more positive state of mind can keep out the negative emotions that ruin your days!
Every once in a while, I like to do a quick quasi-experiment with my psychology classes. I hand out slips of paper to everyone in the class. It appears (to the students) that all of these papers are the same, although they in fact are quite different. Half of the class has just received a slip asking them to name the three best events that happened to them over the past week. The other half of the class receives a paper that asks them to list the three worst events that happened to them during the past week.
From exercise to makeovers, these tips should keep you distracted from the temptation of your ex.
The holiday season can be a tricky time to be single, even if you've been that way for a while, even if you're totally comfortable with it the other 11 months of the year. Some weird single holiday haze descends and makes the most well-adjusted among us feel like lousy lumps of unwanted coal.
Here is a roadmap to navigate this time of year TOGETHER!
With the holidays approaching it can be very trying on relationships… especially if you are in a relationship with someone making a go at being in recovery from drugs and alcohol. Most holiday gatherings are centered around alcohol and family – two things that are problems for most addicts. Having a roadmap to navigate this time of year is the key to keeping your relationship healthy and supporting your partner through recovery.
Here are our Top Five Tools to Surviving the Holidays with a Recovering Addict:
How you can shift your thinking and make choices for a great life!
You are who are you are right now because of everything you've experienced to this point. Take it, embrace it and build your life based on who you are with no regrets. Define yourself according to you not someone else. Here's how to start.
Take out your aggression on the treadmill, not in the courtroom.
Post-divorce is no time to be thinking with your heart. Yep, your heart is bruised and battered and you feel disillusioned by everything that's unfolded. Perhaps you feel like you were run over by a truck. Still, you have to think with your head.
It's not because he doesn't love you, but because he loves you too much.
Men are much more emotional than women (or men) can understand. - Mary Jo Rapini
I just got back from a trip to Brazil. It was a work/pleasure vacation for my husband and me. We spent the majority of our time in Florianopolis. A beautiful Island connected to the mainland by a bridge. One morning my husband and I had just gotten back to the hotel room and we were both standing side by side looking out the window at the incredible beauty.
To Master Anger, we must understand it, and that's what we begin here. Why is "active" important?
Last time, I asked whether you want to “manage” anger, or to really “master” it. A master is in charge, knowing how anger works, why you’re working with it, what to do to change it, its liabilities and benefits, and what to do if you don’t want to keep getting angry/frustrated/vexed/irritated the same old ways. Are you considering your answer? Even if you’re not ready to decide now, entertain the idea of someday becoming an “Anger Master”.
A short inquiry into the role you want anger to play in your life, now and on into your future
What’s your relationship with anger? Never have it? “Inherited” it from your Irish Grandmother? Rage-aholic? Depressive? Everybody experiences anger during their lifetime. Most of us know so little about it that we entertain myths, such as “Anger just happens to me,” it’s “all-powerful,” or it “goes out of control”.
Let’s take a look at the emotions and relating. This will be a five part article series with each article taking a deeper examination into each of the primary emotions and their fixed counterparts. Enjoy!
In my recent article on communication I assert that the problem is not with communicating but rather with relating. There are five core emotions I am most interested in: Grief/sadness, fear, anger, love, and envy.
