![Are You Single This Valentine's Day? [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/images/79166952-1.jpg "Are You Single This Valentine's Day? [EXPERT]")
Do you ever feel pressured to be with some one for Valentines Day when in your heart of hearts you are really ok with being alone? I recently did a reading for a woman who was really down on herself. Why? Because all of her friends are in long term relationships and married and she is still single. As we continued to talk, she began to pour out her heart.
Our EGO is our made up identity. Ego comes from the Latin word meaning “I”. According to Freud, it has primarily two needs: to be right and defend itself. Its major drives: sex and aggression. (I think he had males more in mind with his theories) This correlates to testosterone which supplies men with sexual drive and aggression. When too much is produced it can get one in trouble in the way of violence driven behavior.
Are you and your guy constantly fighting with one another? Are you worried that all of these arguments are going to destroy your relationship?
With the best intentions, self-help gurus want their audience to be empowered and feel like they can make changes to improve their life. Since I was given the book, “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay at twenty-three years old, I have been on a path of becoming a better me and to find happiness in the world. Eventually too much inner reflection can come to a point of inner bullying. The part of you that wants to heal transforms into an abuser, frustrated that you will never get it all together.
People might associate college life with pizza and promiscuity, but according to a paper published in the Journal of Personality, students would rather receive an ego boost (from compliments and good grades) than have sex. Incidentally, ego boosts also trump favorite foods, which actually makes sense considering how closely hunger and sexual compulsions are compared.
Uncertainty is torture. It’s one of the most difficult things for people to deal with. The old saying “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t” keeps many people stuck in old relationships, in jobs they can’t stand, and living in parts of the world they don’t like. Change is scary, and new situations bring about uncertainty. But that doesn’t mean we should shy away from change. A much as it’s scary and uncertain, it offers that same measure of growth and excitement.
With shows like The Pickup Artist remaining perennially popular, it seems that male narcissism is flourishing if not becoming epidemic while being fueled by our culture and the media. While egomaniacs may make for irritating but good TV, they can have a truly destructive impact on the lives of their loved ones. A Chicago Tribune article about dating narcissists offered some handy tips on how to diagnose and, more importantly, decide to live with (or leave) a narcissist. The American Psychological Association lists nine core traits of narcissism, but someone only needs five of these to qualify for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Yay!
OK kids, first things first. Size does not matter to every woman. Plenty of women are satisfied good and plenty and even preferably with some skillfull fingers and well-played tongues and a good battery-operated assistant. That being said, it does matter to some women and it certainly seems to matter to lots of guys who want to know if they measure up or not (as our many other articles on the topic might indicate). But how can a woman (or man) tell if a man will measure up (before the clothes are off, that is)? Are there certain ways a person can know for sure just by looking? We don't think there are definite 100% board-certified correct answers to these questions, but we do have some ideas of where a person may want to look, if this is a topic of importance to him or her.
Geeky men are the best kept secret in the dating world. We've hoarded this info for years, but since spring is here and the weather is finally lightening, we're feeling generous and will pass along this kernel of wisdom to you, dear readers. Time to grow up and realize the soft-spoken, slightly disheveled, not overly hip guy seated in the corner over there, would actually make a much, much better boyfriend. 1.) He won't take you for granted. 2.) A massive ego is less likely. 3.) No worries about revealing your geeky side. 4.) Use him as your style canvas.
Being called "narcissistic"—stemming from the Greek mythical character Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection—isn't necessarily the most flowery of compliments. One automatically thinks of the guy who uses a spoon to gaze at his reflection during brunch, or the chick who can't bear to leave the house without a throng of male admirers—or any other combination of self-bloated annoyingness. Throw a rock hard enough and you'll find one (or twenty).
