10 surprising facts about the everyday life of a professional dominatrix.
"I specialized in pretty hardcore scenes—what we called corporal scenes. Sort of the meaner scenes," she tells Lemondrop. "Which was interesting, because it didn't seem to fit with my personality. I didn't like those sessions at the beginning. You start by doing the 'sensual sessions' that look like flirty behavior... but that just started to feel uncomfortable—too close to reality. I worked hard not to engage my sexuality in the job. So there was something thrilling about acting out this mean, violent persona. It was so far from who I was or who I'd ever been."
Although we've only just met her, we believe her. It's hard to imagine this sweet-sounding professor ever trussing up a naked man like a turkey or, say, dunking his head underwater. But remember—those guys asked her to do it, they paid her for it, and all we have to say is, she worked hard for her money.
As if her book weren't revealing enough—and trust us, it is!—Febos agreed to share even more. In her own words, below are 10 Things You Don't Know About My Life As a Dominatrix:
How one woman chose, and enjoyed, to be dominated.
Ben was not abusive. I was not being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship—or playing at one, anyway—and following his orders got me unbelievably, unbelievably turned on
5 sexy moves most women are embarrassed to ask for.
I've never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky.
So, I'm going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she's too self-conscious to ask for. Don't pressure anything, of course— but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts ...
Behind the fetish: How BDSM makes one woman feel like a virgin.
I thought I'd had "rough sex" before; I'd been spanked on my butt plenty of times, had my hair pulled, even been caned once while strung up with my hands over my head. That hurt, and I cried, and I liked it, because I'm submissive like that, but it was just a one-time thing. I'd had plenty of encounters with talking dirty, spinning all sorts of nasty fantasies, where, most of the time, I was on the receiving end of some very hot epithets. But I'd never wanted to be choked until I got together with the guy I'm dating now.
It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the chest.
There's nothing wrong with a hot-n-heavy game of dirty cowboy. And according to Deborah Yvette Parker, that's all she and her commonlaw husband, Broderick Craig Crachian, were partaking in when he died of an accidental gunshot wound to the chest. Describing her as "extremely distraught," Parker's court-appointed attorney, Murray Newman, explained to the Houston Chronicle that: "She loves him, and this is just a terrible accident."
Desperate Housewives star admits to BDSM sex fantasies, but does that make her "raunchy?"
"What's that Eva? You want me to do you HOW?" might be an appropriate speech bubble coming out of Trey Parker's mouth in the accompanying photograph. According to The Sun's "Best Sex Ever" survey of "A-List celebs," the answer for Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria, it seems, is to be tied up with silk scarves during love making.
Porn, threesomes and loneliness: understanding male sexuality.
Ever wondered why your husband likes triple-X websites? Or why your boyfriend is only half-joking when he suggests a threesome with your college girlfriend? Or why so many men have trouble feeling close to women? Dr. Michael Bader has your answers. The psychologist and psychoanalyst has been practicing his trade in San Francisco for 30 years and became interested in sexuality ten years ago. He recently published Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It—And Men Don't Either. YourTango spoke to Dr. Bader about fantasies, porn and why your man has trouble opening up.
Revealing deep dark desires opens an erotica writer's sexuality to judgment.
Should our sexual fantasies be morally and politically correct? Excerpted from Best Sex Writing 2009, erotica writer Kristina Lloyd explores her taste for pleasure with a side of discomfort and the judgment that writing graphic sex scenes draws. An intriguing reflection on fantasies and how they define us.
A Canadian professor has recently woke from a three-day coma. He was put into that coma via oxygen deprivation. The was deprived of oxygen by bondage. He was bound by a professional dominatrix in New York. He was visiting New York under false-pretenses according to his family. He claims that he's over this scene.
S&M practitioners tend to be highly educated and other facts you may not know.
What’s the first step in exploring S&M? Change the way you think. What exactly constitutes as S&M and are you comfortable enough in your sexual relationship to try it? Ky Henderson clears up misconceptions and speaks to couples who agree that it is a new way to build trust and explore ways to potentially liven up a “vanilla” sex life.
