Part four of a four-part series on male infertility. Click here to read parts one, two and three.

For me and Amy, however, there was always more hope, always another chance to get pregnant. The next peak in the Fertility Himalayas, ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection), was a technique developed in 1992 for severe cases of male infertility in which healthy looking single sperms are literally inserted into healthy seeming eggs. The goal is multiple fertilizations. The fertilized eggs can then be frozen and preserved, or returned to the womb to (hopefully) develop.

ICSI took place in a private hospital. … Read More

Part three of a four-part series on male infertility. Click here to read parts one, two and four. 

Amy had been referred to a Beverly Hills fertility doctor, who was so reassuring that I took him to calling him Dr. Mellow. His office had a wall of photos of smiling babies, as if to say, "This will be you."  

We sat in his waiting room holding hands. We believed. We didn't know we had just taken our seats inside the Hope Factory.

Once inside, the possibility of getting pregnant never ended. If one technique failed, you tried another, and … Read More

Part two of a four-part series on male infertility. Click here to read parts one, three and four.   

Right around this time, my Amy and I decided to move to California. Perhaps a fresh start, a fresh perspective would help. 

My wife's doctor in NY sent her to a doctor in Beverly Hills, who sent her to a fertility specialist, who sent me a doctor whose first name sounded a lot like "Pappy." He was the doctor to see for guys whose guys need to get going. 

Pappy had a slightly goofy personality. … Read More

Part one of a four-part series on male infertility. Click here to read parts two, three and four.   

When I look back on the courtship that led to my marriage, I fast forward through a carousel of emotionally charged moments: the night we met, the night we first slept together (not the same), a postcard she sent me, our first weekend away together, a Ray Charles concert, a birthday party (mine), a birthday party (hers), a Hamptons summer rental, a Sam Cooke album, an Al Green concert, a vacation in Europe where I almost proposed but didn't, … Read More

Last week we found ourselves on a two woman bar tour, consisting of just ourselves. Had we not been so amused by our own antics, we would have gone home, well that and the cutie in a suit stationed in the doorway of Spitzer's. So stoic was his demeanor that we just had to dub him the Downtown Centurion.

DABA Girl: So what do you do that demands you spend so much time glued to your blackberry?"

Downtown Centurion: "I don't really want to talk about what I do."

DABA Girl: "Ohhhh, I get it. Laid off and interviewing."Read: 4 Reasons … Read More

1. Don't expect to see them. Ever.

2. Accept the fact they will have many affairs. With their books.

3. Learn to hide your "ew, gross" reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions.

4. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the "I'm going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD" dramatics are.

5. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be … Read More

Weeks before I turned 19, I checked into Massachusetts General Hospital terrified that nothing could fix the way I saw myself. Two days after undergoing surgery, I stood topless in my parents' bathroom watching as my mother slowly pulled squares of medical tape spotted with puss and dried blood from my chest. I waited in Percocet-induced suspense for my flat-chested doppelganger to miraculously appear in the full-length mirror. When they were finally uncovered I hardly recognized the small puffy breasts that fit perfectly inside the palms of my hands. There were lines of stitches in rows around my nipples and … Read More

What do you look for in a man? Emotional compatibility? Sense of humor? Looks? This woman sings about what she's REALLY looking for... a health care plan.

So what if I had no sense of self? I anchored myself to my husband, a man headed to medical school, whose determination to help others, no matter the sacrifice, shed a charitable light on me.

When my internist asked if I knew that marrying a doctor-in-training was a recipe for disaster, I laughed. What did he know of the power of young love? What he might have asked in return was: what did I know of my husband?

And what, at 22, did I know of myself? The determination I loved in my … Read More