Are you the big spoon or little spoon when sleeping with your partner? It's commonly assumed that women prefer being the little spoon because they want to feel safe and protected. But many say they also have a need to hug something while sleeping.
I was signing books at a bookstore the other day and a young woman came up to me. She looked at the title of my book “The Pathway to Love” and asked if she could read some of it while she waited for her friend to arrive. I said “sure” and handed her a copy to explore. About thirty minutes later she came back with the book in hand and tears in her eyes. I waited for her to speak, not sure of what was to come. Finally I asked “Are you okay?”
You know that passion you have at the beginning of a relationship? When every moment is about getting closer to each other and nothing is more important than seeing that person naked? How nothing else matters, not food or shelter or work? Yeah, that intensity is kind of hard to maintain.
As family life unfolds, bringing, as it must, shares of both pain and pleasure, I find myself looking for comfort in places I never looked before. I've turned to comfort foods and the comfort of cooking, the comfort of sex with my husband of 22 years, and the comfort of good friends. I've rediscovered the comforts of music to calm my soul, books that speak to my scrambled emotions, and films and television programs that help to settle sadness. A noisy restaurant, and even occasional strangers have also offered unexpected comforts. I thought I knew by now everything that could bring me comfort, but it seems there's a source I've been overlooking—the comfort of my kids.
According to new research, an excess of incorrectly-expressed support is worse for your marriage than neglect. Just what is the "right" type of support, though?
Recently, my boyfriend expressed some fear that we had moved too fast. While it's only been four months, it feels like way more. Not quite a lifetime, but certainly a few years. We had clicked almost instantly, and while I was less than a year out of a nearly five-year relationship and he was, um, not quite divorced (a whole other topic), it seemed too good to pass up. I felt ready to be totally vulnerable and open to someone new, no matter where that might lead me. It has been (mostly) awesome.
"I believe the lack is in the cheater. It is not the marriage or the spouse. There is a hole in the cheater and that is their responsibility to fill or ask for what is needed. There is never a reason to commit adultery. How abut leaving, how about honesty with the self and the spouse? How about vows, communication? The same steps can be taken without the affair. ie. getting needs met. The action is not taking responsibility for oneself. Insight and personal growth is without the cheating and profound hurt for all which follows. The pain never goes away entirely. Just say NO, like and adult." -kwd (Anonymous user)
Susan Quilliam discusses the newly revised "The Joy of Sex," which was originally released in 1972. YourTango is your source for smart talk about love, sex, dating and relationships. Whether you're married, single, taken, engaged or "it's complicated," check out our videos for the best love and relationship news, entertainment and advice. http://www.yourtango.com | Smart Talk About Love
The classic sex manual The Joy of Sex, which was originally released in 1972, is now available with updated illustrations, advice and insight about sex, our bodies and sexual attitudes. British sexologist Susan Quilliam talks with YourTango about the new edition.
The LoveFeed discusses the financial burden of breaking up, and is based on "When You Can't Afford To Break Up," by Pilar Anderson. Read her essay, here.
Lemondrop's Bediquette column today discusses the comfort—and horror—of familiarity. According to a new poll, romance lasts exactly two years, six months and 25 days, after which time couples stop trying and start leaving the toilet seat up (79% of men married 10+ years do this), hording the remote (75% of both sexes wouldn't relinquish control when asked nicely) and forgetting their wedding anniversary (actually, this happens by the third year of marriage to 83% of couples).
