Gretchen Rubin, author of the brand new book The Happiness Project, has a suggestion for people who want to make their dating lives happier: Quit nagging!
Good news, moms! The new school year is underway! The time that parents celebrate and kids dread. There are so many new things happening this time of year that many kids feel a bit overwhelmed. New teachers, new schools, new friends…it's a lot! But in my house, that's not all that's new! With each new school year comes a new level of responsibility for my kids. "I'm one of the big kids, now!"
Ladies, when you've finished cooking dinner, washing the dishes, folding the laundry and sweeping the floors, what kind of reward do you receive from your husband? A kiss? A foot massage? A week-long getaway with your girlfriends? Wait, you don't receive any of those things? That's what we thought. But, despite the fact that women do the housework with no promise of praise upon completion, an Australian news host has proposed an incentive program to encourage men to chip in around the house.
Almost every cohabiting couple fights about household chores. When faced with a dirty sink, most of us will resort to one of two things: nagging our guy until he gives in, or doing it ourselves even though it's definitely not our turn. Unless you're naturally generous, the latter usually leads to resentment, which is why Kelly Oxford, a writer for GQ magazine, suggests that women offer men sexual favors in exchange for doing the chores.
Do you think you're doing your spouse a great act of love when you do the laundry or take out the trash? I would challenge you to rethink that. Responsibilities of life are different than really loving your spouse. So what is love really? Read on to find out.
In the beginning, when you are in love, it's easy to be insular and believe that you and your partner have everything figured out, that nothing can ever shake you, that you will never fight and nothing so stupid as socks on the floor could ever make you raise your voice at that adorable face. I don't mean to be condescending about this. It's a great time. Every couple has it and it is my sincere wish that it last as long as possible. But it doesn't. At some point, in every marriage, you find yourself sobbing into your pillow over toothpaste caps and if you don't you are a Stepford Wife.
My husband is in sales. He is wonderful at his job and has grown in his career. Unfortunately, moving up the sales ladder generally means that you’re going to be traveling – a lot. Earlier this year, I said “Adios” to corporate America and turned to freelance writing to keep me sane while staying at home with my children full-time. It’s a good thing I did – a few months later, my husband’s schedule shifted and he was suddenly required to be out of town Monday morning through late Wednesday night every. single. week.
Despite my best intentions, my marriage isn’t new or hip or trendy. I cook and clean. He does the lawn and the taxes. I sew curtains and decorate. He watches the budget and fixes the garbage disposal. It’s not that way because I am trying to reverse the women’s movement, it’s just that our marriage works better that way. I am a better cook. He’s a whiz at taxes. I really enjoy a nicely swiffered floor. He loves multiple trips to Home Depot. Call it genetics. Call it culture. It’s who we are.
Don't let guilt keep you from taking me-time.
As part of his book, The Guinea Pig Diaries, author A.J. Jacobs did everything his wife told him to. "She will be boss. I will be her devoted servant. It will be a month of foot massages and talking about feelings and scrubbing dishes and watching Kate Hudson movies (well, if Julie actually liked Kate Hudson movies). It could be revelatory. It'll let me explore the tricky power dynamics of the modern American marriage. It'll allow me to study the Mars/Venus, Everybody Loves Raymond clichés about gender battles and figure out which are true and which are hogwash."
This is how my weekends usually go. This was a good one, but there was no socialization....
