For me, 2011 was a bi-polar year. I had a lot of really amazing highs—won a work award, was honored at a fancy pants gala, got my face on the cover of a magazine, smashed my half marathon PR—but there was one heartbreaking low that really defined my whole year.
![Why Holding ON To Your Ex Means Holding OFF On Your Life [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/images/independence20next20exit.jpg "Why Holding ON To Your Ex Means Holding OFF On Your Life [EXPERT]")
Neil Sedaka had it right. Breaking up IS hard to do. But WHY is it so hard? Because we are sentimental beings, desiring of connection. Because we’ve been told that ‘partnering’ is the path to happiness. Because it just feels good to have your best pal around and because there is no rule book or magic pill for getting rid of the longing. When going through a break up, we are in fact, experiencing a death. While it may just be emotional, it carries all of the hallmarks of a physical passing.
Ending a relationship is rough. We discovered that women aren't wallowing and eating their feelings post-breakup, as pop culture might have us believe. Instead, they're taking healthy, proactive steps like exercising, spending time with friends and avoiding ex sex—all in the name of moving on from an ex.
by Gregg DeMammos Traditional marriage vows say, “I promise to love, honor and obey...'til death do us part...” We think we know better than these ancient words. We take our vows lightly. We don't bother to look at the wisdom in the vows and how far beyond us, beyond simply being in love, beyond our smallness, they are. Imagine who you'd have to become to honor your vows over years and years of marriage and actually be happy!
In our heart of hearts, we always know when a relationship is ending. Sadly, people avoid and ignore the signs – staying in relationships long past their expiry date. Why? Breaking up is painful and people would rather delay dealing with it and avoid feeling the pain for as long as possible.
Most people have gone through a traumatic breakup or three. But everyone has a very different style when it comes to breakup recovery.
There is really never a "good" time to break up with someone, but right before the holidays might be the hardest. Even for those people who know their relationship cannot be fixed, it can be hard to cut someone loose with Christmas music in the background. If you're ready to be single again, what do you do? Stick it out through the holidays, or move on now?
You may remember the crappy ex in question — the one who broke up with me over IM, stole a painting he'd given me as a present and generally made me feel like total crap for several months. Our breakup was quick and sharp (over IM, after all), but the months leading up to it were painful and heartbreaking. He was miserable and so was I.
If there is ever any good reason to spend $782 on yourself all at once, a heart-shattering breakup tops the list. You were wronged! You deserve to do something nice for yourself. But really, are we so materialistic a society that doing something nice has to entail spending a ton of money?
You've been on a few dates and you think you met the man (or woman) of your dreams. The first meet was electric; the energy between you was sizzling. The second date was nice, too; you had plenty to talk about and the chemistry was obviously there. The third date you kissed a little, and that's when things began going downhill.
No one likes being broken up with. But rather than an apologetic text, these are 10 ways we'd prefer to hear–or deliver—the news.
