We'll say it straight up: There's no good reason in the world to hang onto these habits. They aren't helping.

1. Nagging, nagging, nagging. We know about the squeaky wheel, but complaining loud and long gets you only short-term gains and builds up powerful discontent on your spouse's side.

2. Blaming, criticizing, and name-calling. These tactics belittle the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish; let you play angel to his or her devil; and don't address the responsibility you both share for your marital happiness.

3. Bullying, rudeness, and selfishness. These ugly power plays tell your partner that he or she … Read More

Big effing deal, you have a boyfriend. The rest of the world really doesn't need to know how much you love each other, how much it hurts to wait five minutes between tonsil-hockey sessions, or… well, how much you've got him whipped. Sure, I've been in love before, but in a watch-the-sunrise-over-bong-rips kinda way, not a need-to-keep-my-hand-on-your-ass-to-claim-my-territory kinda way. Here are some of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to coupling up.

1. Making out in totally non-romantic places.

If I see the two of you pawing each other at the Trevi Fountain in Italy, I'll forgive you. Now THAT … Read More

Sometimes the toilet seat up is just the toilet seat up. But other times, that vertical piece of porcelain in the powder room is nothing short of a death wish, proof that your man never really loved you or respected you, and justifiable cause for exiling him to the land where couches replace beds and where sex is a single-person sport. At least that's how it feels. As April's issue of Psychology Today explains in an article entitled "You're Driving Me Crazy," petty annoyances can easily "coalesce into a vast, submerged force when they take on a … Read More

When you hear the word "detox" all sorts of things come to mind: spas, juice fasts, colonics, rehab centers. People enter detoxification programs to rid their bodies of toxins, lose a little weight, maybe look and feel better about the damage they've done to their bodies. Detoxifications are done when you eat too many chips, drink too many drinks, do too many drugs. But how do you detoxify from poor love decisions? Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another? How do you take the damage done from too many Read More

A girlfriend (Teri) and I were talking about dating. Specifically, I was asking about the latest guy she dated and doesn’t want to date anymore. “Too many deal breakers,” she dismissed. “Okay,” I pushed, “list ‘em.” And so she did. Half way through, I got a pen.

Here are some: He swore He called his mom, “Momma” He socks were really stained His breath smelled He smoked when he drank a lot He was often late He was a sloppy dresser He was sloppy He laughed out loud at movies He answered his home phone … Read More

I'm seething. My husband, Jon, has snuck outside to smoke. Again. The smell is wafting in through the bedroom window. He's quit a few times, but he always starts up again—just, it seems to me, when abstaining should be getting easier. His backslides strike in the most insidious of ways: A late-night trip to the store for some pizza rolls ends with him walking in ten minutes later, pack of cigarettes in hand, looking dazed. I barely even remember buying these. But now that I have 'em, I'm sure as hell gonna smoke 'em. Or he has a stressful day, … Read More