anger
Domestic abuse doesn't happen "by accident." A new study shows it's often premeditated.
For those ladies out there still buying the "it was just an accident" excuse from heavy-handed boyfriends or husbands, this new study serves as a another wake-up call.
According to a Science Daily report, researchers at the University of Haifa in Israel concluded that domestic violence between couples typically occurs as a calculated decision from the inflicting partner. He or she generally knows beforehand what sort of consequences there will be and weighs it before acting out.
"The violent partner might conceive his or her behavior as a 'loss of control', but the same individual, unsurprisingly, would not lose control … Read More
Still heartbroken a year later, one woman wonders how long it will take to "get over it."
So, it's been a year since I got dumped. Frankly, I would not blame any of you for being at the point of thinking—if not saying—"Why the f**k hasn't this bitch gotten over this yet?" I wonder the same thing myself. The Frisky: The Top 10 Things You Learn When You're Heartbroken
There's that saying that it takes half the length of the relationship to "get over it." If that were the case, I would have another year and four months to go, God help me! But actually, I'm over the heartbreak. There's not one ounce of me … Read More
Healing after being laid off can involve the same steps as getting over an ex.
It's been a month since my husband Marco's ex-firm broke up with him. And, like a romantic breakup, it takes time to heal—for us both.
I was on the road to such healing, eating ice cream in the middle of the day, when the doorbell rang. I finished a work call and opened the door. It was Marco's ex-coworker, dropping off seven cardboard boxes filled with the remnants of Marco's life with Ex-Firm. I felt a rush of betrayal. The ex-coworker is chipper and sweet, a decade or two my husband's junior. The break-up is not his fault, but … Read More
So I have what my dh calls a temper. To boot, I'm a natural redhead,...
So I have what my dh calls a temper. To boot, I'm a natural redhead, so any flair ups really do come quite naturally. On my best days, I'm simply a passionate person. On my worst, well, let's just say the cat goes into hiding. Now I'm not a yeller, screamer, hitter or thrower; just someone whose nostrils flair from time to time. My hubby is a passionate person too. In fact that's one of the things I dearly love about him. But, as you well know, passion on that level can lead to irrational quite easily. And from there … Read More
An honest look at what can—and can't—improve because of couples therapy.
Going to couples therapy wasn't something my boyfriend or I had to wrangle the other into. Our rough patch was more like a slick of black ice, and we were careening towards a precipitous ending. We had moved in together almost a year earlier, and couples therapy seemed easier than breaking up. It would at least buy us time to figure out how to split our belongings while I looked for my own place in New York City.
I went into counseling thinking Ryan had to change. If he didn't fix at least eight of the things that were … Read More
Sugar addiction blamed for anger over "Bridget Jones panties."
He said "gimme some sugar, baby"...but he wanted a Mars Bar.
Marco Fella, 38, of England, bit his girlfriend because he felt angry she wore big Bridget Jones panties instead of thong underwear. And he blamed his sugar addiction!
Fella told the judge he noshes 10 Mars Bars a day and the sugar addiction's got him high-strung. So he attacked his 34-year-old live-in girlfriend two times in 10 days: first by throwing a doggie chew toy at her and then by biting her.
The Daily Mail reports:
He said he became aggressive if he did not get … Read More
Do men and women express anger in relationships differently?
Unexpected Facebook message the other night: an old friend from middle school delivered a thumpin' to her husband and was arrested for assault and battery.
I don't know the circumstances at all—not that that really matters. It's domestic violence and it's wrong and it's not the way for a couple to solve a conflict.
But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I am fascinated. I conceptualize a woman hitting a man differently from a man hitting a woman. There is a cultural stereotype against angry women: she's a bitch, or she's crazy. Women are not expected to lash out, … Read More
Learning what it really means to support a husband.
We are fighting over socks. His socks. He has a knack for leaving them in the most bizarre places. The bathroom cupboards. The kitchen counter. This time they were behind the TV. Now they are balled in my hands, and I am muttering something about not being his slave. How can socks make their way behind the TV of all places?
Dave, my husband, is silent for a moment, and then he begins to smile a large sheepish grin. A consummate football fan, Dave shrugs and says, "The Vikings lost." I don’t laugh. "Why are you so mad? Is there … Read More
Forgiveness happens in different ways for men and women.
Take a moment to recall a tiff with a lover, friend or family member that was as much your own fault as the other party's. If you're a woman, chances are thinking about your actions in that scenario will make you feel guilty and defensive, whereas a man will more likely feel empathy and forgiveness, according to 13 years of forgiveness research at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio.
While forgiveness for men happens through putting themselves in the other's shoes--which would explain why becoming a father often helps a guy forgive his own father's imperfections--it seems women take a … Read More
The things he (or you) should never say while fighting.
The folks at eHarmony.com had a tidy little list of things you should never say in the midst of an argument. Things you’ll regret. For real. Just a few that we whole-heartedly second:
First off, we don’t think anyone would say it quite like that. Might be more along the lines of size, enthusiasm, and/or ability, but we won’t get into that here. Suffice it to say, doling out a sex critique is almost impossible to recover from—for both parties. “Why Can’t You Be More like [insert … Read More
