Recently I received a flurry of hate mail on my blog. Although the author made efforts to cover their tracks by posting their comments as ‘anon.’, I had a sneaky suspicion I knew who the culprit was.
When someone cheats on you it’s like your whole world has crashed down on you. It’s hard to get up and continue on with your life. It’s possible though, you just need to know how to do it. Understanding how to help yourself will get you back on your feet and feeling stronger in no time. Step #1: Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain Many people will want to bury themselves with work and not deal with the pain of infidelity but that’s not the way to deal with it. What happens with that is you’ll just bury it deep inside of you and it will grow. It will grow inside of you like a disease and it will infect a future relationship. The next thing you know when you start dating someone else, you’ll start to see them as a cheating bastard just like your ex was and that is not fair to you or him.
Did you know that 99% of men cheat in America — and the other 1% cheat overseas?
We recently shared the news that fewer couples are divorcing due to infidelity, which seems like a great victory for the legions of faithful, til-death-do-us-part men and women of the world. But unfortunately, though it's not causing married couples to beeline it to divorce court, the fact of the matter is this: Cheating still happens.
“He that jokes, confesses.” -Italian Proverb Indiscretion is no longer discreet. Gone are the days of clandestine meetings, sideways glances across an office or illicit gestures in a dark parking lot. Now you can get those same thrills and more in your email box for only a $49 joining fee. It seems too ridiculous to be true, but this is point we’ve reached- a multi-million dollar cash cow of a business that easily enables us to meet our perfect affair partner online.
For couples who want to heal their relationships after an affair there is good reason to be hopeful. Although the results of studies vary, most research reveals that two-thirds of heterosexual couples will remain together after an affair. Of course, some of these couples may stay together in misery while others will truly improve their relationships. How can you and your partner grow as a couple after an affair?
If your partner happens to be going on a business trip, you may want to make sure they’re not headed to one of the following seven European cities.
You are not quite sure how you got yourself into the affair, and even less sure about how to get out of it. You love your paramour but hate the sneaking and cheating. You vacillate between ending the forbidden relationship and giving yourself totally to it. You feel intense emotions for your lover, but even as you tell yourself…or your lover…that everything is going to be wonderful, deep within a small voice says that it will not be. When together with your lover, you feel an amazing blending of ecstasy and peace.
The more I have witnessed and become acquainted with the stories of couples, both married and unmarried, the more I am convinced that cheating is both an art and a science. Let me explain. Popular culture has done a great job at magnifying the notions of a great passion and the pursuit of the forbidden. As a matter of fact, many of the familiar stories of great passion tend to be intricately dove-tailed with some aspect of the forbidden.
Why do people cheat? Are affairs a natural result of long term relationships? We live in a culture where almost fifty percent of us still get divorced. And second marriages are ending at a rate of over 70%. Many of these marriages end as a result of infidelity. Whose fault is it? Americans never think of themselves as being the type of person to have an affair. In 1973 research showed that 70% of Americans said affairs were always wrong. In 2004 the numbers increased to show that 82 % of respondents said affairs were always wrong.
Sometimes trying to decide if you should tell or not tell can challenge your limits. What if you tell and it hurts your partner but the affair is over? Wouldnt it be better not to tell? What if you tell and they leave you? Frankly, either way will be difficult. Not telling isnt any easier on YOU then telling is. Living with the guilt, shame and the general threat to your own integrity can make you withdraw from your partner. They might see you withdrawing and wonder whats wrong.
