Between selecting the perfect gift, booking expensive flights and dealing with the in-laws, the holidays are stressful, and, unfortunately, the closest target for those frustrations is often one's partner. Here are ten common holiday fights couples have during the holidays and how to avoid them.
This is the time of the year that brings holiday parties, buying gifts for family and friends, spending time with relatives from out of town and a myriad of delightful dishes. Add to that, festive lights, excited children awaiting Santa and a sense of merriment by even the grumpiest coworker. It sounds like a wonderful time, doesn't it? So why do so many couples feel so stressed? Instead of enjoying this special time of the year, they resort to cool withdrawal or heated arguments.
A couple of years ago, I really got it about how not living my truth was causing me stress and negatively impacting my life. I began a very busy job that was both exciting and fulfilling. I was excited about all the opportunities that presented themselves for me in this position. As I became more immersed in the work, I had several ideas about how this position could grow and evolve. I used my creativity and determination to try and bring about all that I believed was possible. It was a challenging time.
Do the hectic holiday months leave you feeling stressed out, confused and frazzled? Do you want this year to be smooth sailing straight through the New Year? If so, you're going to need to read on. In this informative video, Coach & Healer and YourTango Expert, Louann Schwager Tung offers her helpful tips on how to make the time between Thanksgiving and New Years as stress-free as possible. Here's how to get organized, prioritize and stay positive!
Do you have a tremendous amount of mind chatter that goes on beneath the surface? Many people have self talk conversations that are negative abusive statements such as “you should”, “why did you do that” and “what is wrong with you?” These can lead to feelings of stress and overwhelm as we try and quiet the mind. Wouldn’t it be nice to speak with gentleness and kindness to yourself? To be loving and respectful of all you say and do.
Do you believe that worry is preparation? If yes, then welcome to the club! Worriers get a lot of unsolicited advice from non-worriers: just relax, it's going to be fine, or my favorite: don't worry. Some advice is more clever than other. Dean Hawkes of Columbia University once famously said, "Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision." Or, as Charlie Brown put it more amusingly, "I've developed a new philosophy ... I only dread one day at a time."
A couple of years ago, I began a very busy and fulfilling job. I was excited about the opportunities it presented to me. The more I immersed myself in the work, the more I was inspired by ideas about how the position could grow and evolve over time. I used my creativity and determination to try to bring about all that I believed was possible. When I started, I was naive about the inner-workings of the organization and the power imbalances that existed. It quickly became clear to me that trying to create any kind of meaningful change in the organization was going to be incredibly difficult. As I embraced the challenge, I worked hard, did my best and felt like I was living true to my values of honesty, hard work, connection and responsibility.
What is stress? Stress seems to seethe all around us — you read about it in the newspapers and magazines, hear about it on TV, Google it online. There appears to be a consensus out there: stress is hazardous to your health and well-being. But stress is seldom defined. They tell you to avoid it, that you need to "de-stress" your life, but only rarely does anyone tell you just how to do that. So you worry — you even stress about having stress — rather than doing something about it. After all, what in the world can you do?
One of the main complaints that causes couples to seek sex counseling is lack of sex. There are many reasons couples don't enjoy sex anymore. Marital conflict, depression, and stress all affect libido. One of the rarely-discussed but main reasons couples aren't having sex is because it is painful. When a woman talks about painful sex, the first thing a health care worker will think of is prescribing lubricants. This may alleviate the pain, and may cure the problem, but there are many factors that can contribute to painful sex besides dryness.
You've been playing that conversation with him over and over in your mind — defending yourself, trying to figure out what to do next. You are losing sleep, it makes your heart pound, it's hard to focus on work during the day. So, you finally see him, you are furious, and now you are dying to tell him what you really think of what he said or did. Well, stop! This is the wrong time to communicate.
If you've ever experienced an upset stomach, you know the difference between that and what millions of Americans suffer with — irritable bowel syndrome. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) can be very frustrating to deal with, especially with the symptoms of inflammation, cramping, diarrhea and/or constipation, fatigue, and bloating. Basically, it means your digestive tract is out of whack — it doesn't function correctly.
I'm getting married in August and have been planning the wedding for over a year, so the date has been set for a while now. My brother—my only sibling—got engaged last weekend. I love him and his fiancée, but I was very upset when I found out today that they are planning to get married a mere six weeks before I do.
Who doesn't want a healthy and satisfying sex life? And yet, a substantial and growing percentage of people struggle with low libido and sexual dysfunction issues. Overcoming this challenge in order to benefit from the many emotional and physical benefits of lovemaking should be on the top of your list when you consider that hundreds of major medical studies correlate an active sex life with a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers.
I found myself pacing. Walking back and forth with really nothing in hand. Trying to find something, anything, that would satisfy. On the last walk-through, I realized I wasn’t dealing with the real issue. I wasn’t hungry but I was taking out my stress in the kitchen. With the final pass-through I realized what was going on. I wasn’t hungry, I was feeling anxious. I was anxious about a zillion little things that apparently have been building throughout the entire day.
How does the stress of being a busy mom affect us? We overeat, do not exercise, and of course our sex life goes kaput, as does our intimacy with our partner, our confidence and our self-esteem. More and more, we see mothers suffering from the deadly disease of perfectionism. You assume that to "do it right," you must execute all tasks flawlessly and ignore the need for self-care. In turn, we see higher rates of exhaustion-related illnesses, low self-esteem and partner-related issues, due to mother's burn out. It's time to drop the "supermom" ideal.