STRESS

The path of relationship is sometimes called the most difficult spiritual practice of all, but these five simple guidelines can go a long way toward helping you to happier, healthier relating of all kinds.

What is stress? Stress seems to seethe all around us — you read about it in the newspapers and magazines, hear about it on TV, Google it online. There appears to be a consensus out there: stress is hazardous to your health and well-being. But stress is seldom defined. They tell you to avoid it, that you need to "de-stress" your life, but only rarely does anyone tell you just how to do that. So you worry — you even stress about having stress — rather than doing something about it. After all, what in the world can you do?

One of the main complaints that causes couples to seek sex counseling is lack of sex. There are many reasons couples don't enjoy sex anymore. Marital conflict, depression, and stress all affect libido. One of the rarely-discussed but main reasons couples aren't having sex is because it is painful. When a woman talks about painful sex, the first thing a health care worker will think of is prescribing lubricants. This may alleviate the pain, and may cure the problem, but there are many factors that can contribute to painful sex besides dryness.

You've been playing that conversation with him over and over in your mind — defending yourself, trying to figure out what to do next. You are losing sleep, it makes your heart pound, it's hard to focus on work during the day. So, you finally see him, you are furious, and now you are dying to tell him what you really think of what he said or did. Well, stop! This is the wrong time to communicate.

If you've ever experienced an upset stomach, you know the difference between that and what millions of Americans suffer with — irritable bowel syndrome. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) can be very frustrating to deal with, especially with the symptoms of inflammation, cramping, diarrhea and/or constipation, fatigue, and bloating. Basically,  it means your digestive tract is out of whack — it doesn't function correctly.

I'm getting married in August and have been planning the wedding for over a year, so the date has been set for a while now. My brother—my only sibling—got engaged last weekend. I love him and his fiancée, but I was very upset when I found out today that they are planning to get married a mere six weeks before I do.

Who doesn't want a healthy and satisfying sex life? And yet, a substantial and growing percentage of people struggle with low libido and sexual dysfunction issues. Overcoming this challenge in order to benefit from the many emotional and physical benefits of lovemaking should be on the top of your list when you consider that hundreds of major medical studies correlate an active sex life with a longer life, better heart health, a healthier immune response, reduction in chronic pain symptoms, lower rates of depression and even protection against some cancers.

I found myself pacing. Walking back and forth with really nothing in hand. Trying to find something, anything, that would satisfy. On the last walk-through, I realized I wasn’t dealing with the real issue. I wasn’t hungry but I was taking out my stress in the kitchen. With the final pass-through I realized what was going on. I wasn’t hungry, I was feeling anxious. I was anxious about a zillion little things that apparently have been building throughout the entire day.

How does the stress of being a busy mom affect us? We overeat, do not exercise, and of course our sex life goes kaput, as does our intimacy with our partner, our confidence and our self-esteem. More and more, we see mothers suffering from the deadly disease of perfectionism. You assume that to "do it right," you must execute all tasks flawlessly and ignore the need for self-care. In turn, we see higher rates of exhaustion-related illnesses, low self-esteem and partner-related issues, due to mother's burn out. It's time to drop the "supermom" ideal.

The epicenter of the 5.8 magnitude earthquake yesterday was less than 30 miles away from me and my family. Sometimes it takes a big "shake" to make us wake up and really commit to drinking our veggies and whey protein on a daily basis. Our ability to deal with a stressful event, such as an unexpected earthquake that's nowhere near a fault line, is directly influenced by our diet. Eating a diet that is predominantly raw fruits, vegetables, and protein sources with supplemental minerals and nutrients gives us the most bang for the calories and money.

According to a recent report by the World Economic Forum, poor job security, increased workload, and a lingering recession are leading causes of job burnout and stress. All of us have suffered job burnout from time to time, but the conditions are more severe and widespread now. There is a deeper sense of exhaustion, cynicism and despondency.

Unfortunately, when Congress was at a standstill about raising the debt ceiling, Standard & Poor was unimpressed with how the United States was handling its fund. As a result, just this past weekend the S&P downgraded the country's credit rating from an elite AAA to a lesser AA+. Now, we're looking at wild swings in the DOW on Wall Street, financial analysts uttering the word "recession" again, and potentially higher interest rates as a result of the downgrade. Since finances are consistently a huge form of tension among couples, we were obviously concerned at this news. So to put things in perspective, we asked experts what the credit downgrade might mean for our love lives as we move through the rest of the year, and even farther into the future.

Let me start by saying I know plenty of young females in their 20’s who forget a child’s dentist appointment, or cupcakes for a school party, or even that they have something cooking in the oven. And it’s only the burning smell that reminds them they forgot to take dinner out on time. In fact, it makes me feel better - more normal - when I hear of the “younger generation” struggling with their forgetfulness.

Welcome to Hypnosis Silver Spring. I'm Donald Pelles, Ph.D. My website, www.hypnosissilverspring.com, is worth spending some time exploring. Are there issues in your life you seek to resolve, such as weight, smoking, anxiety, or chronic pain, IBS or Fibromyalgia? Did you know that pre-surgery hypnosis can lessen your bleeding and bruising, reduce your swelling and pain, and help you heal faster? And if your life feels "stuck", I will help you get un-stuck. Oh yes, and improve your golf game or your tennis while you're at it!

I first created a version of this Mini Relationship Tip four years ago, almost to the day. I've added to and edited this oldie but goodie, and I know you'll find a gem of "life alchemy" in here for yourself. You'll definitely NOT want to skip reading this one because at the end there is a piece of uber personal, amazingly timely news. ;-) August 2007:

I’m sitting at the Little Bakery, waiting for Marlena to meet me for lunch, and my cell phone rings. “Hi, it’s me.” Marlena. “Hey.” “I’m here on the Beltway, not going anywhere at the moment,” she says. “So, I’m going to be late.” “No problem – I’ve got something to read.” “I’m really sorry about this,” Marlena says, sounding stressed.