Many people seek to find true love by looking for compatibility, matching life experience, shared interests, and warm fuzzy feelings. Sounds pretty good so far, right? I mean…who could be against that? Well, I’m not against that, but there is a trap in focusing on compatibility, comfort, and convenience – it’s BORING!
I was sitting around this morning and I realized something that really hit me like a ton of bricks: we’re all looking for our soulmates out there. Everyday millions of people are going out on dates hoping and praying that they’ve met “the one” or their soulmate. Everyday people are logging into online dating sites hoping that the new e-mail is from their soulmate.
When many people think about love, they may not think that being strong has a lot to do with it. But it does. Or maybe they do think of strength, but in the sense of being strong and protecting yourself from being hurt. The walls that are built to protect are the same walls that keep one from feeling their true feelings. I understand why these walls are built, but it’s a false protection, and doesn’t give one the sense of joy, peace, even security that is often what we really want. You can live strongly without those walls -
I believe that we can have many soul mates in our life, each relationship becoming a part of our soul’s evolution. Soul mates bring us to different levels of ourselves until we reach the beloved experience within, the ultimate partnership. Soul mates can be stepping-stones to the beloved experience. I have met couples who have stayed together through the struggle and have evolved into the safe, sacred and passionate belovedness.
“I remember picking myself up off the floor....I could taste the blood running into my mouth....I’d never been hit before--I was shocked, humiliated and very scared.” So many years ago and yet even now, it chills me to read those words. You might think that it chills me because being assaulted so violently forever marked my soul, but you would be wrong. What chills me is that I was so deaf and blind to my own guidance and found myself within 100 miles of such violence.
Manifestation continues to make headlines as stars like Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres tout manifestation techniques as part of their career strategy. If you want the life of your dreams, say the gurus, keep picturing that new job or that perfect soul mate or new home will amazingly come to be, it must come to be. It is Universal Law.
Think it's a far stretch to say that Martin Luther King Jr.'s teachings can land you the man of your dreams? "Come on, YourTango, not everything has a love angle," you say. Well, one of our experts, Shay "Your Date Diva" Williams, wrote an article just in time for MLK Day that will prove you wrong.
Our biggest problem is that we are disconnected from our deepest desires. When it comes to choosing a romantic partner we often fall prey to a superficial image that we created in our head, and remain oblivious of the gentle whisper of our intuition that conveys the longing of our soul. How do we know he is “The One”? Is there any way to tell? Here are some practical steps you can take.
Bonnie McEneaney, an author, former business executive and mother of four, lost her husband on Sept. 11, 2001 after he experienced premonitions that his life would end in a terrorist attack on New York City. Ten years later, Bonnie opens up on how the tragedy strengthened her spiritual bond with her deceased husband and what all women can learn about love based on the signs she's received from beyond.
Are you a person who takes care of everyone else before yourself? Do you believe you should put yourself last? If you take care of other's needs before your needs routinely, then you may have co-dependent tendencies. Taking care of yourself enables you to then be available to take care of others. If you neglect your personal needs and wishes and care for others instead, then you may begin to feel resentful and "empty." In a relationship, co-dependent behaviors can potentially sabotage your relationship success.
Okay, we know you’ve heard it many times from all kinds of sources from your best friend, to Cosmo, to every dating coach out there: Make a List of What You Want. It's true – creating a list is a crucial step in making the relationship of your dreams a reality, however, we are betting that many of you have made the list, and yet still do not have your ideal mate.
Is there such a thing as "The One?" Regardless of your belief (or lack thereof) in a soul mate, you have to admit that there was a moment when things just felt "right" between you and your partner. If you're happily in love, tell us about what triggered that feeling in you. Was it love at first sight, or did it require a written list of pros and cons? Did it strike you in the middle of the night? Did that feeling develop after you'd weathered a few storms together? Or were you only sure once you'd received counsel from friends and family?
What does it take to manifest the love of your life? I've heard from first-time brides (at 49 and older!), from busy entrepreneurs whose 80-hour-a-week work schedules left little time for romance, and from divorcees and widowers who were convinced that the opportunity for true love had long passed them by. Those who have successfully manifested their soulmates did so by finding a healthy balance between intending and allowing; between doing and being.
The idea of what makes a dream job changes over time, as does what a person looks for in their soul mate. Here are some reasons why finding one’s dream job can be as difficult as finding the perfect life partner.
"You could always fill out those annoying coupons and subscribe her to fifteen magazines," Dan chirped in his forever positive voice. "That's not helpful," Molly sniped at him. He reached over to pull her into a hug. She was stiff in his arms. "I just can't understand it." she sighed "How can she not have anything good to say....even now....especially now."
When you are in a long term relationship and feel safe, comfortable and care deeply for a person, could you be with the wrong man? Can you have a man who loves you unconditionally and is totally into you and you still question if he is your Soulmate? How do you know if he is the ONE? First of all, it is important to honor what you've manifested in your relationship over the time you have been together. Building a lasting relationship is a sign that you are skilled in creating a loving connection with your man.