I'm done with being single but just before I go to the sperm bank to have my baby Heather, I want to test my theory. So, between Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey and Debi Berndt's Engaged in A Year... let's see what happens in the next 12 months.
“A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him.” – Aesop When you are on your journey toward the love of your life and the life of your dreams who you have around you really does matter. Who is around you, especially in your “inner circle” really matters. One of the reasons why the women who work with us state again and again how important the loving, uplifting, and supportive community of other women is on their journey is because that “inner circle” has influence on you.
Nothing makes sense when everything you thought you learned about love at 17 was possibly just plain wrong. No matter how false it was in reality it's a perception that is 100% true in your own mind. What is your identity is so tightly wound up with the ideas of youth that it's made you an expert at pushing love away? Then your unconscious mind has a problem that requires the double talents of Jung and Freud (as long as they don't start feuding) but they are both long gone. Is there any hope?
I’ve been where you are right now. Years ago, I was single, divorced and looking for love. I remember the disappointment of having yet another relationship end painfully, and worse…the fear that something was wrong with me. One night, after a particularly painful breakup with a man I had been certain was the love of my life, I made what I call my “fetal position decision”. Yep, curled up in the fetal position on my bed, I declared… I was either going to find my soulmate or be a cat lady…
We had the honor and the privilege to be invited to the lovely home of one of our clients last weekend. We got to sit down with her and her soulmate husband, and to snuggle with their little baby too. It was so fun and yet so tender and meaningful for all of us… because we remember when she first started working with us about 2 years ago. 2 short years. Not that long ago, really.
You’re a woman. You KNOW that we men are visual creatures. What does she look like? Woah-dont get whiplash from that head whipping around! Excuse me-my eyes are up HERE! You’ve seen it happen, may be involved in it happening, and may even do some of it yourself (Ryan Gosling, Maxwell…need I say more?).
When I was single, I remember getting together with my single-and-hating-it girlfriends one night to do a “vision party”. We cut out magazines and inspirational words of our ideal lives with our soulmates to put into a vision binder. This was over 14 years ago, way before the movie The Secret came out and the “Law of Attraction” became such a common phrase. We spoke blessings over our visions. We drank wine. We cried. We laughed. And even saged our visions, lit candles, burned incense. We were going to manifest our soulmates, dammit!
If you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places (literally and figuratively) and haven’t found it yet, there may be something going on in your mind that’s blocking Love from coming to you. You see, love is your natural state. It’s your birthright. If you’re wanting it, and it’s not coming to you, you may have a Love Blocking Belief or two or three that’s keeping true love away from you.
When I was single, I remember those days of wondering when the heck was I gonna find my man? I was so SICK and TIRED of being alone. I hated the feeling of those lonely Saturday nights by myself (and Friday nights, and Sunday nights… and…) I had so many doubts that I’d ever even find a good man at all and fears of being alone forever. That maybe, by some weird freak of nature, I was “meant” to be alone. Can you relate?
As you may know, I’m American. And one thing us Americans tend to value above all else is self-sufficiency and independence (wait, that’s two things... but you know what I mean). I mean, most of us have rebellious pioneers in our DNA and we pride ourselves on being “self-made”- not that there’s really such thing. Nobody is a “self-made” anything... there was a team (even if a team of one other person) of some sort behind the success of one person.
Every morning, when I’m hugging and kissing Isabelle good bye as she is leaving for school, we have a little ritual. I ask her 4 questions: 1. Who is worthy of everything wonderful? (She answers, “I am worthy of everything wonderful!) 2. Who loves and accepts herself EXACTLY as she is, right now? (She answers, “I love and accept myself EXACTLY as I am right now!)
Who’s got your back? Who’s in your corner? Who’s on your side? Who’s seated at your table? Imagine you have invited five of your closest friends to your home for a holiday gathering. You’ve got your shiny bright holiday decorations up, the eggnog is ready, and the festive music is playing. Who’s showing up for this gathering?
Be grateful every day but especially Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for Alex and Aggie and the guys at work. Thanks to them, especially Alex and Aggie (courtesy of POF.com), soulmate love never looked so special. CaughtMyFish.com chronicles the love story of Alex and Aggie who have been a living template for all us singletons to stay the course and keep swimming with the flow towards our own soulmate.
We need a better word for a female bachelor. Budgeting for the holidays. 10 ways to die during the holidays. If Robert Pattinson believed in soulmates, would you? Soulmates are made not met. A small peen contest isn't good for anyone. Aziz Ansari talks about marriage. Who should play the leads in Fifty Shades Of Grey? 6 things no one should say to a lady. Prince Harry is up to more shenanigans. Mothers-in-law are really tricky. And why guys chooses a lady over another.