As I’m getting my fill of intimacy from interactions with my children, my husband, meanwhile, sits in the wings waiting for me to throw him an intimacy bone. It’s not that I don’t want to share intimate experiences with my husband or that I don’t feel I have the capacity to take in any more of these wonderful feelings. Plain and simple: I’m already intimately satiated.
Knowing he was in for a Valentine’s surprise my husband casually said, “Let me know if I should cancel a hockey game.” Cancel hockey??!?! Him playing hockey (four times a week) is sacrosanct. He must have been really, really excited about his Valentine’s Day surprise. His enthusiasm made me want to make it an even more special time. When it came time to use the Tenga Flip…it didn’t quite work out.
In honor of Valentine’s Day I decided to treat my sweetheart (that would be my husband) to three weeks of fun. It’s an all-about-him sex palooza. Decided to get a male perspective on what men would like. Naturally called on my friend and Sexologist, Dr. Brian Parker, owner of Forever Pleasure.com an on-line high end toy company.
Since university—while living on spaghetti and adrenaline—I’ve had a draw full of beautiful, expensive lingerie. It cusped on obsession. And this was before the Victoria Secret took the world by storm. In my twenties, I swore up, down and sideways that unless it had to do with period-panties, I would NEVER, ever wear cotton undies.
Sex? Really? This Week? This is the first time since I started this Six Month Sex Challenge that I really couldn’t stand the thought of sex or anything it takes to create intimacy with my partner. I refuse to feel guilty about it—because the guilt can easily send me into a depressive tailspin.
Warm massage oil being dribbled onto, and lovingly massaged into my tired naked body. This was the thought that I’ve been fantasizing—perhaps obsessing—about all week.
Often, when you're in a long-term relationship, sex is put on the back burner. If it weren't for heightened airport security and the requisite frisking, busy couples might get no action whatsoever. This is what happened to Dr. Trina Read, sexpert, best-selling author, and sex coach. After the birth of her second child, Dr.Trina decided to get her sex life back on track, vowing to have sex with her husband once a week for six months—and blog about it, naturally. Throw in the holidays, flu season and two kids under the age of 3 and you got yourself a Six-Month Sex Challenge.
I’ll never forget my first son’s six week postpartum checkup. As my OBGYN inserted fingers lathered with KY jelly she said, “The might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes women’s vaginas go into a menopausal-like state if they are breastfeeding fulltime. This may make intercourse uncomfortable.”
The next chapter in my life’s story is to give my relationship a big dose of TLC. It was the reason why I created this Six Month Sex Challenge: to make my relationship and intimacy a priority. But it seems what this challenge has really done so far is highlight all the relationship cracks that need mending.
The sweater fit—yes it was tight, but tight in all the right places. When I showed my husband, he looked like a hungry wolf ready to eat me up. In that moment, I was taken aback that he saw me as a sexy and sexual woman. Right now, I look in the mirror and all I can see is frump girl—to be fair, it’s because I’m not making any efforts and I am a frump girl.
Sex was the last thing I wanted. In fact, sex with myself would be far more fun and satisfying (Note to self: why don’t I have sex with myself as it would be fun and satisfying?) But I had to make an attempt at it; if nothing else for this blog.
